Walking through the Fog with no Fog Lights
Catchy huh? Not exactly meant to be amusing. My topics have been based on the same line and I intend on doing them. Abuse is not pretty and neither are the facts on it. There are a lot of storms people go through and most are lucky enough to avoid them, but there are others out there that deal with them on a daily basis. Are you one of them?
None of us live in the perfect world although some think they do. They are just kidding themselves that abuse will never happen in my family. How do you know? Someone may already have been. Victims of abuse aren't outspoken and neither are those that chose to abuse them. It's a don't tell situation for both. It doesn't matter who you are or how old you are. Victims are in all socioeconomic and age groups and is not discriminatory. If you can't see what's coming then the fog of the storm has overtaken you. Put on some Fog lights and fight your way out.
Abuse can start out slow or can be from day one. On most occasions the abuser was abused themselves and the cycle unfortunately continues into their relationships with their husbands, wives or children. It can also in some cases into community or relatives instead of the immediate family.
The topic today will reflect on verbal abuse. What is verbal abuse? Verbal abuse is a repeated pattern of hurtful , inappropriate, derogatory or threatening behavior toward their victims. People who abuse seem normal and doesn't appear to be a threat when in view of others until it gets to the point that it is out of control.
Victims will blame themselves for the behavior displayed by their abuser telling others or the abuser that it was their fault or they deserved to be treated in an unkind or inhuman manner. They are torn down brick by brick and rebuilt in the way the abuser wants them.
Abusers will use terms like Always' and Never in their statements which more often than not are untrue. They will come off as it being friendly when they are putting others down purposefully .
They use blaming for getting out of situation, lying or turning a conversation back on their victim and it is endless in repeated patterns without reason. Their speech is filled with false accusations that holds not truth that is exaggerated toward someone else. Lying is compulsive and they are good at it. There is no regard as to how it affects anyone
In some, and I have seen this myself, their victims will finally leave the situation only to be sucked back in when the abuser seems to have reformed. Inappropriate reactions or over-reactions to bad news and disappointments. which then diverts from the real issue or from and pushes onto the toward the person.
They use name calling , projecting their feelings or traits onto someone else believing them to having the same ideas. Comparing or ranking one person with another, they are impulsive and can be aggressive in their behaviors. They use shame and guilt as a weapon along with using the silent treatment where they do not communicate at all. They will use humor at someone Else's expense , mocking them, mostly to reduce their victims reputation in their eyes or others. Threats are also used.
Physical wounds can be seen easily but with verbal abuse it doesn't heal as quickly. It is cumulative and stays with the victim longer. The victim that is left untreated never heals. The emotional wounds attach themselves and makes the individual who they are .
Examples of verbal abuse is to ridicule or insult you and then tell you it's a joke or that it never happened at all that you imagined it.
Disrespect or insult the victim then tell them that they are to sensitive.
Criticize or call the victim names , yell at them.
Put down your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or what your family and friends.
Being manipulative.
Making the victim feel that no matter is done they can't win.
Trying to convince the victim that they are right while they are wrong.
Question the victims motives and competence.
Ignoring a direct question and walking away.
These are just a few examples but they leave deep scares in their path. Are you a victim? Do you know someone who is? Are you the abuser? Look in the mirror, what do you see?
Their is help out there. Look for it and get out of the situation and start healing.
God Bless each and everyone
Teresa
None of us live in the perfect world although some think they do. They are just kidding themselves that abuse will never happen in my family. How do you know? Someone may already have been. Victims of abuse aren't outspoken and neither are those that chose to abuse them. It's a don't tell situation for both. It doesn't matter who you are or how old you are. Victims are in all socioeconomic and age groups and is not discriminatory. If you can't see what's coming then the fog of the storm has overtaken you. Put on some Fog lights and fight your way out.
Abuse can start out slow or can be from day one. On most occasions the abuser was abused themselves and the cycle unfortunately continues into their relationships with their husbands, wives or children. It can also in some cases into community or relatives instead of the immediate family.
The topic today will reflect on verbal abuse. What is verbal abuse? Verbal abuse is a repeated pattern of hurtful , inappropriate, derogatory or threatening behavior toward their victims. People who abuse seem normal and doesn't appear to be a threat when in view of others until it gets to the point that it is out of control.
Victims will blame themselves for the behavior displayed by their abuser telling others or the abuser that it was their fault or they deserved to be treated in an unkind or inhuman manner. They are torn down brick by brick and rebuilt in the way the abuser wants them.
Abusers will use terms like Always' and Never in their statements which more often than not are untrue. They will come off as it being friendly when they are putting others down purposefully .
They use blaming for getting out of situation, lying or turning a conversation back on their victim and it is endless in repeated patterns without reason. Their speech is filled with false accusations that holds not truth that is exaggerated toward someone else. Lying is compulsive and they are good at it. There is no regard as to how it affects anyone
In some, and I have seen this myself, their victims will finally leave the situation only to be sucked back in when the abuser seems to have reformed. Inappropriate reactions or over-reactions to bad news and disappointments. which then diverts from the real issue or from and pushes onto the toward the person.
They use name calling , projecting their feelings or traits onto someone else believing them to having the same ideas. Comparing or ranking one person with another, they are impulsive and can be aggressive in their behaviors. They use shame and guilt as a weapon along with using the silent treatment where they do not communicate at all. They will use humor at someone Else's expense , mocking them, mostly to reduce their victims reputation in their eyes or others. Threats are also used.
Physical wounds can be seen easily but with verbal abuse it doesn't heal as quickly. It is cumulative and stays with the victim longer. The victim that is left untreated never heals. The emotional wounds attach themselves and makes the individual who they are .
Examples of verbal abuse is to ridicule or insult you and then tell you it's a joke or that it never happened at all that you imagined it.
Disrespect or insult the victim then tell them that they are to sensitive.
Criticize or call the victim names , yell at them.
Put down your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or what your family and friends.
Being manipulative.
Making the victim feel that no matter is done they can't win.
Trying to convince the victim that they are right while they are wrong.
Question the victims motives and competence.
Ignoring a direct question and walking away.
These are just a few examples but they leave deep scares in their path. Are you a victim? Do you know someone who is? Are you the abuser? Look in the mirror, what do you see?
Their is help out there. Look for it and get out of the situation and start healing.
God Bless each and everyone
Teresa
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