Fire Chaser

Teresa L. Arrowood

This book is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, Businesses, Places, Organizations and events are the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual person’s living or dead, events or situations is purely coincidental. The book does include sexual themes and innuendos that aren’t suitable for children.

“© 2015 Teresa L. Arrowood. Except as provided by the United States Copyright Act of October 1976, Public Law number 94-553 no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the publisher and Author.”

Cover Design: Starcrossed Covers

Format and Editing: Dave Arden

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Acknowledgements

This book has been a challenge for me to write. There were challenging scenes that I was ready to throw out, but then the excitement would have been lost.

My first two books Eye of the Storm and Stilling the Thunder are part of The Life Storms Series. They take an honest look at abuse, and how it rips people’s lives apart. There were scenes that left me scratching my head. They were some of the hardest scenes to write. These books will be republished later. This book, however, will kick off a series called “The Everyday Hero Series”.

When I started writing to release a set of books, I had some reservations. I am not a poetic or experienced writer. At the time, I was studying for my BSN in Nursing I came upon a promotional speaker and what he said hit home. “What would you do it you weren’t afraid?” Unfortunately, I can’t remember the young man’s name. He was doing a series of videos on bullying, and encouraging young adults to step out of their comfort zone and make a difference. This is my shot at being a new novelist.

Thanks to the support of my family, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and placing this book and others to follow in your hands to enjoy. I also want to thank Starcrossed Covers for their cover art. She has done a magnificent job of representing the hero of the book.

I also want to thank a fellow author, Christa Lynn, who is the author of a couple books I have read recently. She helped me get into self-publishing, and explained some of ins and outs. Thank you, my friend, for your assistance when it was needed the most.

I also want to thank some local businesses that have chosen to support me. Thank you, to Miss Lori at the Tea Caddy, for her inspiration, and for welcoming me for my first ever book signing event. Thanks to Elizabeth at Elizabeth’s Flowers, for also allowing me the time to have a signing at her business. Thanks to Wes Smith, for my professional author’s portrait. He did a wonderful job.

Thanks to my sweet husband, who puts up with my schemes and my idea of becoming an author. I love you, sweetheart.

Thanks to the readers, as it is they who keep me writing.

Last, but certainly not least, I thank God for giving me the talent.

Dedication

From ink to paper, from life to fiction, a hero is born. Every day a hero in his or her trustiest nature appears, even though no one seems to see they are the ones who save lives when others flee. So, no matter where you come from, a hero you are. Where ever a life is in danger, a hero you become.

God Bless the hero in everyday appearance, we love you, and thank you for your service. Firefighter, Patrol Officer, or Medic you always seem to be there without fail. Here’s to you, and all the hats you wear.

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Nathan Becker looked out over the Inner Harbor on an early Saturday morning. It wasn’t his practice to be at the Bay boardwalk at the crack of dawn, especially on a weekend, but he had to keep up his physical activity. After an injury earlier that year, where he had torn tendons and broken an ankle, put him out of commission, the doctor had told him he more than likely wouldn’t be able to return to the job he loved so much. Hearing a child in a burning home, he started towards the door as it was blown off its hinges, sending him flying through the air, and crashing to the ground next to the engine.

The road to recovery had been difficult and long, and he still, wasn’t able to run the ladders. The doctor had told him not to push his luck, but he was doing more now than he had thought possible. It had taken two months before he could walk without a limp, and another month before the doctor would release him to light duty. Of course, when it came to holding him down it wasn’t an easy task, and his captain had to constantly remind him to slow down. As part of the fire and rescue team, not being able to fulfill his duties the way he knew he should was a hard pill to swallow and left him feeling useless. For now, he was on the sidelines, only able to help the victims once they were rescued.

This morning, he sat on the bench, and looked out toward the horizon and the beautiful sunrise, something he had rarely taken advantage of when he was at full speed. He had taken a lot for granted and vowed never to do it again. He had spent years taking people from twisted wrecks and burning buildings. Most survived, but there had always been the few runs he hated, the worst part of his job, where it ended up being a recovery instead of a rescue. The worst were having to pull a child whom he was unable to revive from a lake or pool. There were moments that made it all seem worthwhile, such as pulling the Jensen couple from the wreckage of a five-car pileup. After thirty-five years of marriage, Harold had saved enough to take his wife on a well-deserved dream vacation for a second honeymoon. If the department hadn’t been there, they would have surely died, as the car they were trapped in, burst into flames shortly after they were pulled out. With the car’s dash pinning her legs down, Beatrice had been lucky to only suffer minor cuts and bruises, rather than broken legs or being crippled for life. It had been by the grace of God that either of them had survived.

As he sat there, recovering from his semi run, the midsummer morning sun was already starting to beat down its heat, and he watched the gulls dancing around the sailboats and charters. Even if he hadn’t been running, his clothes would have been sticking to his skin. From where he sat, it looked as though the perfect set for the day would soon be breaking into some short-lived storms or showers as the clouds rolled in behind the bright sun, the water choppy, turning up, and bending the reeds along the shore. The smell of a summer rain came in on off the bay, and the crash of distant thunder fell on his ears. Rising from the bench, he made his way to the public parking garage toward his vehicle when the sky suddenly opened up. When he was secured in his car, the memory of a beautiful, young woman he had known long ago popped into his head. It had been another time and place, and they were caught together in the rain, as she ran along the bay ahead of him, looking back and laughing as she did. Thinking of her always brought a smile to his face, followed by an emptiness that he had never been able to replace. The guys had passed him off as a lost cause when it came to the fairer sex, but he knew there had been only one woman for him, and the opportunity had long passed.

It had been seven years since he had seen her on a night he wouldn’t forget. That night, she had told him she wasn’t sure what she was doing, and that it hurt her to walk away, and it hadn’t been easy for him either. After a two-year courtship, and a promise of a life they would live together, it had suddenly ended. At first, he’d been hurt, but after months of not talking to her, it had turned to anger. He spent his time wrapped up in his daily life lying to himself that she didn’t matter. Since the last time he’d seen her, he hadn’t had another serious relationship. He always seemed to compare them all to her, and no one could live up to the standards he had laid down. It created a place that was safe for him, building walls that could never be torn down.

Shaking his head and turning on the stereo, he listened to the tunes that floated through the surround system in his late model truck. The windshield wipers slapped against the window, keeping perfect time. As always, he had his day planned and it wasn’t going to be a total loss. Being a bit of a neat freak, he intended to clean for the few hours he had left before his shift started, before taking Crash for his walk in the park he loved so much.

Crash was a big loveable goon, a rescue dog in more ways than one, and would take to most people if given the chance. They found him at the scene of a one-car crash off the beaten path, where the family he belonged to had perished, sitting with the man who had owned him, keeping watch. In the end, Crash had been the only survivor, and had been taken home by Engine 21 as their mascot. When his comrades found that Crash was good at finding things they trained him to help with search and rescue.

As a young pup, Crash was generally found at the foot of Nathan’s bunk at the station, and was adopted by him shortly after. He spent a lot of time with Crash, teaching him rescue and running obstacles, which his canine buddy seemed to love every minute of. All it had to do was stop raining.

At half past five, Nathan walked into the Station. Nothing out of the ordinary, same crew with the same jokes and tricks they pulled on everyone. It wouldn’t be long before a rookie would join the crew, and they would find a whole new line of jokes and pranks to pull on the new guy. Things never changed. The captain would occasionally get in on it, which made them worse, but Captain Ted Marsh was more like them than the captain of the crew, but when it was business, he was quick and decisive, expecting those in his charge to follow suit.

Crash, the big baby of a German Shepherd, followed in behind him, jumped on the couch, and made himself at home. Jerry greeted Crash as usual, rubbing his hands across his head, and flopping his ears as he did. “How you doin’ ole buddy? You keeping him on the right path?” Crash wagged his tail, and barked as if he knew what he was saying.

“What’s for supper, I’m starving?”

“You might want to think that one over, Becker. Slider’s doing the cooking tonight.”

“That’s tonight? Didn’t he just have duty last Saturday?”

“Yeah, unfortunately, it didn’t put any of us in the grave, so he decided he’d try again.”

Nathan couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think it’s his turn. It’s my turn, and I’m going to take it. At least we won’t wonder about the three-alarm heartburn later tonight.”

“Hey, man, you got it. I’ll take your mean cooking anytime over Slider’s.”

“That hurts.” Mocking them, Bryson ‘Slider’ Craig walked in and placed the bags of groceries on the counter, then turning, acted in his exaggerated manner of a man stabbing himself through the heart. “You know how much I like to cook.”

“Yeah, and you know how much we like to live.” The fire station roared, the men all laughing at Craig’s expense.”

As the alarm sounded through the station, it leapt into life, and the men scrambled to grab their gear and board the mighty, roaring engine. “Station 21, Rescue 1, Rescue 2, Engine 21, Ladder 9, be advised. Structure fire, occupants trapped, 2010 Out Brook, cross street Harbor, Time out, 18:22.”

Captain Marsh acknowledged as the others jumped into action, and Nathan along with Crash found their way into rescue with Todd Bacon, a fifteen-year veteran of the force, and twenty years his senior. Nathan had respected the man as he never expected him to do anything more than he was willing to do himself. They had become fast friends ever since Todd had taken Nathan on the day he entered the service, and taught him the ropes. Not that they hadn’t had their tiffs, there were times when they didn’t see eye to eye in a situation, but they always came to an understanding.

The sirens blasted, as the convoy of trucks, and rescue crews chased down the beast, an entity that reaches out, and inhales its victims without warning. Its arms wrap around them until its grasp is so tight it thrills at the panic on their faces, and laughs at their distress. Nathan had seen many rescued from its grip, and the ones who were unable to be taken from its power. Either way, they were touched for life by its clutches.

“Must be a big one, Becker. Be careful.”

Nathan grinned at his partner, “It wouldn’t dare come after me. I know how it thinks. I’m the chaser, you know that.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it knows that. Don’t be charging in there, Dynamite. You’re still on light duties, Let me do the heavy stuff if it has to be done, hero.”

As the truck slowed to a stop at the corner, Nathan could see the flames licking from the apartment house, where the clatter of a third-story window automatically caught his attention. He heard a woman scream, and saw her waving from the ledge, looking to either side where the adjoining smoke-filled rooms spat orange and red flames from their windows. Crash circled Nathan encouraging him to act. “Sorry, boy, not this time, this belongs to Todd.”

Pulling the equipment from the truck, he set up for the woman, and whomever else they pulled from the blaze. Crash sat back on his haunches, and watched as Todd entered the building followed by the crew of Rescue 1. As Nathan waited for Todd, and the other rescue team to appear, the sound of the collapsing beams snapping and popping, echoed from the building. Standing on the sideline, sometimes minutes felt like hours, and it killed him that he wasn’t in on the action.

The crew worked around him, and was in full force as Todd appeared with the first, and he hoped, the only one who had been trapped. The woman coughed, and sputtered as she tried to speak. Todd helped her down to the ground, and Crash sat by the woman’s head, looking down at her as if he were protecting her. Nathan slipped an oxygen mask on her, and she started to relax. “Miss, I’m going to give you a little extra oxygen, try to take some slow, deep breaths.” Connecting with the local hospital, Todd filled them in on the patient’s condition as the ambulance was being dispatched. “My name’s Nathan, and this is Todd,” he said, motioning to his partner, “Was anyone else with you?”

The woman shook her head no, leaving Nathan in relief as the third story started to collapse. “We’re going to prepare you for transport to Jefferson Memorial Hospital. It’s just a precaution.” Without opening her eyes, the woman nodded, and let him do what he had to. He found it strange that she wasn’t panicky. “Miss, can you hear me?”

She nodded her head slightly, and remained with her eyes closed, her face and clothes covered with a layer of dark soot. Checking her closely, Nathan lifted the oxygen mask, and looked down at her. “Miss, I’m going to take a look at you. I just want to make sure you can breathe properly.” Taking his penlight, he inspected her face, nose, and throat, finding burnt and swollen air passages. She started coughing harshly, her breathing becoming rapid, and in a matter of seconds, the young woman’s smudged, pale face became ashen blue. “Todd,” he called to his partner with urgency. “We need to get her intubated. Now.” The loud, high-pitched breathing coming from her signaled her distress, and a rush of adrenaline hit him.

The young woman was deteriorating rapidly before him. If they couldn’t reverse her condition, she was going to die. Before he could get the ET tube in place, she was unconscious. While Todd had positioned an I.V. access and medicated her, Nathan reached for the ET tube, and secured it precisely in place. As he pumped oxygen into her lifeless body, her color beneath the soot and ash that covered her face, changed from a deep purple to a rose pink, and he took a deep breath as the rush started to subside.

“Miss, you’re going to be fine. I’ll be riding along with you to Jefferson Memorial.”

“You all right, Dynamite?” Todd looked at Nathan with sincere concern as Nathan nodded yes.

“I’m fine. I never get used to it.”

“Know what you mean. See you at Jefferson.”

Closing them in the ambulance, Todd tapped the door, letting them know it was secure, and the ambulance, along with Nathan, the young woman, and the medic was soon on their short ten-minute journey to nearby Jefferson. For that, Nathan was grateful, the adrenaline that rushed through his body having left him drained.

He continued with his assessment of the young woman as she lay there in a medicated sleep. At least one of them was comfortable for the moment. There was no better feeling than saving a life that could have been lost. He wouldn’t trade what he did for anything, but at times, it had become taxing.

This young woman was lucky to be taking a breath. Looking at her, he could see a sweet peace rest upon her. It flooded him as he watched the heart monitor as its green streak reflected her heartbeat. Scenes of a young woman from his past laughing, and kissing him on the cheek, on his first day of rescue flashed into his mind. “Hey handsome, you look like the hero of the day.” She playfully tapped him on the chest. “Looking sharp, hotshot. I always was a sucker for a man in uniform.” As tired as he was from his twenty-four hour day at the station, he had gone to see her before he headed home. Picking her up, he swung her around, and she had thrown her head back, and giggled. That had been eight years ago at least, and he still thought of her every day.

The doors opened, and the woman was whisked off to the trauma room. Nathan gave a report to the physician as to what had happened at the scene and on the trip there. The trauma team quickly took over the care of the young woman. Standing outside the door, he leaned his head against the wall. The coolness of the emergency room felt good against his hot skin. He had been so busy with her he hadn’t listened to the warning signs coming from his own body, and he collapsed like an accordion to the floor. The next thing he heard was the voice of Todd calling his name.

“Dynamite. Hey, it’s time to wake up.”

Nathan’s eyes fluttered open to a blurry field of white before he could make out the face of his partner. Looking around, he found himself flat on his back in a hospital room. Raising his hand to push his hair from his face, he discovered not only a bandage on his cheek, but an I.V. in his arm. He let out an exhausted breath, and blinked his eyes before he focused again on his partner. “What happened?”

“Heat, dehydration, exhaustion. Take your pick. I thought you looked a little pale at the scene. Have you been taking care of yourself?”

“Yes, of course.”

“According to the doctor, you, my friend, are suffering from heat exhaustion, dehydration, and just plain not sleeping. What’s going on Becker? You still pining for that woman?”

Nathan didn’t answer, he simply let out an irritated growl.

“You have to let her go. She’s been gone for seven years; she’s not coming back.

Nathan knew what he was saying was true, he just didn’t want to hear it. Allison left years ago, and had no intention of ever coming back. He hoped and prayed, but nothing changed. He hadn’t gotten a single letter or a call since she left. Allison had tossed everything they had away. He hadn’t blamed her for anything, although he should have, she was the one who walked away for no apparent reason. She loved him; he knew she had, no one could fake that kind of affection for someone else. He had known her since they were children playing together in preschool. When they were five, they had been at her aunt’s wedding, hiding under the cake table. They laughed at one another as they fed each other a piece of cake that neither of them was meant to have. Through the years, they had spent memorable moments together. He had seen her at her worst, and she in turn had seen him at his many times over.

Nathan didn’t offer a reply to his partner, and merely shook his head in acknowledgment. “If you’re feeling better I’ll see about getting you out of here.”

Shaking his head once again, and signaling with his hand, “whatever,” he tried to drive her from his mind . Picking up his hand, he ran it through his already disheveled hair. “Yeah, Yeah. Let’s go.”

Todd walked out of the room in search of someone to release his partner home. Allison’s perfect, green catlike eyes came to Nathan’s mind. He remembered how she made him feel each time she entered a room. He never got used to how overwhelmed he became at her entrance, once he discovered girls were more than just one of the guys. The first formal date they had gone on, he was fourteen. As many years as he had known her as a friend, it was difficult to ask her to go somewhere with him in a different capacity.

He was awkward as a teenager, with braces, clumsy and unsure of himself, full of testosterone, and that wasn’t helping his situation. He never felt he was a catch. He was a technical geek, and sports freak. He loved sports, but he had played them little. He spent time trying to come up with new computer programs and games, or burying himself in a book. Not your normal thriller or history, he liked science and technology.

When he finally decided he was going to ask her out, he worried himself to death for a week. He kept running it through his mind, wondering if she would reject him. The week before the junior high spring dance, he had asked her if she was going. In her soft tone, she answered, “The person I want to go with hasn’t asked me yet.” She looked down at her feet, blushed, and looked back up at him through her long lashes. He had almost talked himself out of asking her, when she looked at him and grinned. He had been rewarded with her beautiful smile the night he had picked her up. Nervous wasn’t the word he could use to describe what he felt. He felt as if he had a pavilion of butterflies in his stomach, as her father called her downstairs.

Waiting at the foot of the stairs, he had watched her in awe. Where a tomboy of sorts should have been, stood a beautiful young woman. She had waited for a moment before she descend the staircase. Her very grown-up look was conservative in respect to what most would be wearing. Striking her at the knee, her emerald green dress matched her eyes perfectly, taking his breath from him. The Marilyn Monroe look from The Seven Year Itch, was eye-catching, but he could tell she didn’t seem to be comfortable with the low-cut to her dress, or her long legs.

With her Lavender bouquet, she had requested a single piece of Lavender as a boutineer for his jacket. It looked more like a purple weed to him, but if it made her happy, it was all good to him. Taking her hand, and wrapping it through the crook of his arm, he had escorted her to the dance. It was a night he would never forget.

“Mr. Becker?”

Breaking him from his past, Nathan looked up to find a brown-eyed angel standing over him. For a moment, he was speechless, and then he gathered his senses.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes.” Nathan had been dumbstruck for a moment. Despite having been there hundreds of times over the last seven years, he had never seen her before.

“My name is Constance, I’ll be taking care of getting you discharged.” She smiled at him, and her brown eyes gleamed as she removed his IV from his arm. “You look a lot better than yesterday evening.”

“I’ve been here since yesterday evening?”

She giggled as she continued with her duties. “Yes, Mr. Becker. I took care of you last evening when you brought in the fire victim.”

He swallowed hard as he thought of what they must have done to him, and for him, since he collapsed the night before. “You?” Looking down, he finally figured it out. He was no longer in uniform, but the hospital’s famous air-conditioned nightwear. Great, she most certainly had seen him in, um… his most vulnerable state. “You took care of me?”

“Yes, is there something wrong, Mr. Becker?”

He hated to admit it, but he didn’t particularly like the idea of a woman, especially a beautiful, and strange woman, seeing what God himself had given him. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his body, he was a private person, and knowing that more than likely she had seen him completely, well... that wasn’t exactly comforting. “No, no, it’s fine.”

“I’ll leave you to get dressed. Your clothes are in the closet to the left of you.”

She smiled, and walked out as he drew the covers a little closer to him. Waiting until she was completely out of sight, he got up and quickly dressed in his uniform. He sat on the edge of the bed and tied his boots, thinking about the night before. He remembered bringing in the woman, what had happened after that? He was startled by a knock on the door, and looked over his shoulder. “Come in,” he called.

“Are you ready to go, Mr. Becker?”

“Yes.” His answer sounded a little sharper than he had intended, but the smile on Constance's face never moved.

“You need to do a follow up with your primary doctor in a week, just to make sure everything’s all right. There aren’t any medications or prescriptions, but Dr. Kirkland did say for you to take it easy. He wrote you off for a couple of days, you can return to light duty on Thursday.”

Nathan couldn’t help himself as he watched her go through all the instructions. Her smile continued, and she blushed on occasion. “Constance, if you don’t mind, I understand all this, since I’m a firefighter and medic, all I want to know is if it would be possible to take you out. Maybe for a coffee, or a movie?”

Constance didn’t answer immediately, and it made him nervous. He’d taken a chance, one of the few he had ever taken. He’d gone out with one, maximum two women since Allison. “It’s okay if you don’t want to…”

Constance smiled at him, and handed him his paperwork. “Eight tonight all right with you? I don’t get off work until seven.”

When she agreed, he was stunned. “Sure, I’ll meet you at the front entrance.”

Walking out the door, he was met by his partner. Nathan smiled to himself but didn’t say a word to Todd as they walked down the hallway and out the front entrance. “What’s got you by the tail, Dynamite?”

“I, my friend, have a date.”

Todd slapped him on the shoulder, and chuckled. “Only you could take an overnight hospital stay, and make a date out of it. Pretty girl. She took good care of you. I don’t think she left your room much. You pretty much intoxicated her.”

“I’m not sure about that. I do think she’s seen a whole other side of me that most women have never seen.”

Todd laughed to the point that he cried, climbed into the truck, and headed toward 21 to pick up Crash and take them both home. Walking in the door, he gave a quick goodbye to his partner, and headed to the shower, Crash following close behind him . He tried to erase the idea that the woman he had asked out, more than likely had seen him in his birthday suit. He turned the shower on, allowing it time to get to his preferred temperature. Crash lay on the floor as he stepped into the shower. Standing there with his face turned down, he ran his hand through his hair, as the hot water ran over his body in a cascade. The only touch of a woman that had set him on fire was Allison. He snorted as she had come to play in his mind again, knowing she had never fully left him. Her memory was like an addiction, and he couldn’t get her out of his head or heart. Over the few years they had dated and were serious, and a lifetime of knowing her, he just hadn’t been able to let her go. He had tried to move on, but felt the young women he had dated deserved better than always being second to her.

Looking into the steamed mirror, he wiped the condensation from it. What reflected back was a man that had been beaten down. He knew what Todd had said was true. He had waited for her to come back to him, and she hadn’t so much as written to him. The time to move on had long passed. Tonight he started anew, whether or not Constance was the one, he had to make a start somewhere. He ran his hands through his hair, and shaved before he looked at the clock on the wall. Three o’clock, he had time to do whatever he wanted. Stretching out on his bed and listening to the television, sounded good to him. Maybe a ball game, an old movie, something to occupy him for a few hours. He lay his long frame over the spacious king-size bed, and set the clock, just in case he fell asleep so he wouldn’t be late. When he flipped the television on, Crash jumped up on the edge, and lay down with his head across his abdomen. The drone of the television played on as he lay there with the memories that remained of her.

This madness had to stop; he was moving on. Constance was going to be a new beginning. He had told Allison in life you had to run toward happiness, sometimes it didn’t just find you. Taking a chance meant that you could find something wonderful, but if you never tried you may never know.

Allison’s laugh was contagious as she giggled. The auburn pigtailed girl from his childhood had opened her window on a summer night. At the age of eight, he was crawling in her window. Many nights they had camped out in her room, telling stories and making up imaginary lives of what they would be when they grew up. That one particular night had been anything but happy. At that time of his life, his mother had left his father, and his father had turned to drinking heavily, leaving him angry all the time. He was in his father’s way most times, whether he knew it or not. He would get angry for no apparent reason other than being intoxicated. It had resulted in him hitting Nathan that night, blaming him for his mother’s indiscretions. It had been hard for them both.

His mother hadn’t given an indication that she’d been unhappy in her marriage. She had abandoned both of them, never making any contact; it was as if she had never existed. George Becker had normally been a good and God-fearing man, but he had snapped when his wife had taken off with a complete stranger never leaving an explanation as to why.

That summer, he ended up in her room most nights. She would leave her window unlocked, and partially open, so all he had to do was make his way from his house across the street, and through the backyard gate. He was sure her parents had never caught on, or they would have turned his father into children’s services. Maybe that would have been a good thing. It had been a struggle all his life from then on. Allison had been the only stable part of his life, and she had left.

He could see her as he climbed in the window, her beautiful auburn hair pulled up into a ponytail as she lay there asleep. “Allie,” he whispered. “Allie, can I stay here?” Her eyes fluttered as she looked at him, and sighed sweetly.

Pulling back the covers, she had motioned for him to get in. “Nathan, you okay?”

“I’m okay, Allie, go back to sleep.” He curled her up into his arms, as she snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. There was nothing better, and more comforting than being there with her. The night closed in on them, and he was content. Her hand landed softly on his chest as he tried to go to sleep that night, and he knew he would never forget her. That summer had changed his life, she was a part of him. He still saw her as nothing more than a good friend at the time, still too young to realize he was in love with her.

As always, dawn came, and as per their normal, she would awaken him so he could leave and return to his home before her parents discovered he was there, and had spent the night with her. “Nathan,” she shook him slightly, “Nathan, time to wake up.”

He awakened from his much-needed rest, but felt the disappointment that she wasn’t there beside him. Crash had remained with his head across his abdomen, sleeping soundly. He looked across the room at the clock. It was nearing six in the evening. Time to get up. By the time he took Crash out, and his drive time to Jefferson Memorial, Constance would be getting off work.

He rubbed his face trying to awaken a little more. Giving Crash a little attention, he sat on the edge of the bed, hoping the night would be the first of a new beginning for him. “Well, boy, it’s time to find out what I’m made of.” Crash looked up at him with his tongue out, if dogs could smile he certainly was, and edging him along.

Looking back, he picked up his keys, and had one last peek at his faithful companion. “Take care of the place, boy, I left food for you in the kitchen.” Crash barked, and wagged his tail as Nathan shut the door behind him. He hadn’t noticed he was nervous until he went to unlock the door to his black and red beast of a seventies model truck, which had been pretty beaten up before he restored it to its original look.

He huffed slightly and turned the key. Taking a deep breath, he turned on the radio, and started down the road. “What was I thinking? I should have never asked her out.” The thought kept turning in his head. “I’ve tried this before, it doesn’t work. I end up hurting the other person because I can’t let go.”

As he started the short journey to Jefferson Memorial, the sun was lowering in the sky, with the soft hues of blues hanging over the horizon. As he had initiated this, he had to finish it, and needed to take what time he had left to pull himself together. She deserved to be treated well. After all, she hadn’t asked for a date, he had asked her. He had to give it a chance, even if it killed him. He had taken a step in the right direction, and had asked a lovely girl out, and she had been gracious enough to accept. She couldn’t know how screwed up, he was. He was still in love with a woman who had left him years ago, and still held on to that little bit of hope that she would walk back into his life.

Chapter Two

The roar of the engines on the 747 heading to BWI hadn’t helped her tension as Allison sat there preparing to return home for the first time in years. She had always hated to fly, being in a vehicle that had no safety net if it decided to fall from the sky wasn’t her piece of cake. She was told many times that the planes were like birds; they were made for the sky, and liked it there. Getting home was a struggle for her. With her anxiety about flying, she had decided to return home for good and work for one of the local hospitals. instead of one-half way across the country. Besides returning home, she was in the middle of planning her upcoming marriage to Jack Dresden. She had watched as he earned millions from Dresden Communications, and he had now decided he would be better served working out of an office that hadn’t been established.

Jack, over the last year, was distinctly different from when she had met him a little less than two years prior. It seemed that Dresden Communications consumed more and more of his time. Unfortunately, that meant she spent more and more time alone. His personality had changed over the last four months, leaving him moody. She had passed it off as the stress of getting a new company off the ground and the many details of their upcoming nuptials.

He had come from a middle-class family, and had held on tight to everything he had. When it came to business, he was quick to learn and very charismatic. She hated to admit it, but he was one to make the women swoon. Everyone loved him, including her father, which was a difficult task. He was impressed with very few people. His biggest pet peeve was those who vied for the hand of his precious daughter. It was his job to see she was well taken care of, and that, of course, meant her suitors came from a family of fortune and status. It hadn’t bothered him in the least that Jack had asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement just after their engagement, for some reason that had left her unsettled. Her father had said, “You can’t begrudge him an ounce of protection. He is a very wealthy man, besides, he loves you, and there’s no reason for anything to happen to break the agreement.” The statement had left her feeling emotionally cold. Her father couldn’t understand why it upset her so. It wasn’t as though she had anything to lose, and everything to gain. No, she hadn’t any intention of going anywhere once she was married, it was one of the values that had been instilled in her at a very young age. It wasn’t as if she was destitute, she had an excellent career, and her family didn't exactly lack for the finer things.

Her father wasn’t hurting financially; he was well to do in most people’s eyes. He was a man from what she guessed most considered old money. He had worked hard for what he had, but his inheritance from his uncle’s estate had set him up for the rest of his life. He had gone into business for himself at a young age. She loved him, but had seen the life her mother had lived. Over the years, Selina Hunter had gone from a wonderfully happy woman, loving her husband with everything in her, to one who had become bitter, and lacked her husband’s affection. For most of Allison’s childhood, her parents spoke little, and she felt they lived in a loveless marriage. They stayed together only because of the position her father held in the social circles.

She spent many nights at home in her room, where she longed for the days when her parents were at least civil. They had resorted to separate rooms when she was a young teen. The only peace she had was when Nathan would climb through her bedroom window. The nights that he had happened in her room were meant for his comfort, but they had done as much for her. Their friendship and trust with each other’s thoughts and dreams had grown over the years, and they had spent some point of every day together.

It wasn’t until she was thirteen that she had seen the worst of her parent’s marriage. The night of the junior high dance was a special night, and one where she was glad to get out of the house. Her mother resorted to drinking, and her father started to compare Allison to her, telling her she wasn’t any better than her mother, and she would be nothing if she didn’t marry well. Her mother, according to him, was nothing more than a harlot. If that was so, he had made her that way.

In her mother’s defense, she never seen her with another man, although she wore the marks of Gideon Hunter’s hand many times. He could be violent with her. Mostly, the verbal abuse and innuendos had killed her. It wasn’t only abusive to her mother; it had damaged Allison, making her think she was only as good as the man she married.

She met Jack just short of two years earlier, when his business was getting off the ground. Her father, of all people, had met him first. He loved that he was intelligent, not to mention he was a self-made millionaire. It meant he was ambitious, and stable. He was also controlling, and stood for little nonsense, just the type of person he thought she needed to keep her reined in. Her father always felt she was this wild child, and needed someone with a strong hand to keep her in line. Jack allowed her freedom or so he let her believe. Her freedom was limited to his social circle, and situations that had her acting more like a puppet.

Seven years before, she had the opportunity for happiness, and had stepped away from it. She knew she could never love Nathan the way he deserved. Allison’s father seen to it that she was a failure at every turn, and the day she turned twenty, she left home for that very reason, and didn’t look back.

After her father become aware of her relationship with Jack, he gloated at how he was right, and she had been wrong going after Nathan. With Jack, well, it was understood he would take care of her the way her father would have dealt with her, ruled with an iron fist. In his way, Jack did love her, and she tried fooling herself into thinking she loved him. It was how it was supposed to be. Still, she found her mind and heart wandering back to the man she loved all those years ago. She had been home once since their unfortunate break up, but with all the time that had passed, she was convinced the clock had run out for her. She’d seen him while she was home that summer, at one of the local restaurants on the bay, the Hole in the Wall, one of the most frequented places for locals and tourist alike. It was known for serving the best seafood in town, and Nathan had been a great fan of the Lobster they served. She had taken a chance on him being there that day, and as luck would have it, he was, but he wasn’t alone. A young woman stepped up beside him at the jukebox the restaurant prided itself in, with its many favorites of the past, one of the things they had found enjoyment in together. Fridays found them there after school, and after he had taken the job at Baltimore Fire and Rescue. She couldn’t help but grin when she thought of him. Graduation had been special for them both. That night, when everything died down, Nathan had taken her to their favorite local restaurant, and proposed at the Inner Harbor as the lights reflected off the water. It was a moment she treasured, and would never let go of.

Getting over the hurt wasn’t the easiest thing she ever done. She thought she had healed from the experience. She couldn’t lie, since the beginning of her trip he had been constantly lurking in the back of her mind. The thought of someone else touching him, kissing him, was something that bothered her for months when she had returned to Ohio. It wasn’t home, but it had been at the time. The small town feel allowed her to escape. This was home, at least this was the home she remembered. Remembering that night, the petite brunette who had accompanied Nathan had been far from just an acquaintance. She walked over, wrapped her arm around his waist, smiled up at him, and laughed as she watched him make a selection. She knew she had waited too long. Any woman with half a mind would have never left him for any reason.

“The captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. We ask that you return to your seat, and that your seat is in its upright position, and your seatbelt is securely fastened across your lap. The captain will turn off the seat belt sign when it is safe to move about in the cabin.” The airline attendant made her short, and sweet speech as the other attendants walked the aisle checking that seatbelts were fastened, and the passengers were comfortable.

Taking hold of the belt that lay low across her waist, she checked the security of it, and rested her head against the headrest in hopes they would be landing soon. The plane taxied the runway, and sailed through the air during the early evening hours, hitting pockets of turbulence. She was fine until they had the attendants stop, and return to their seats. The plane shook and rattled as the lights in the cabin flickered. Shaking with fear, her throat went dry as she sat there wanting to curl up into a tight ball. Panic was not something she dealt with daily, but it was something she had been coping with for several years of her life, along with depression. Over time, it had seemed to subside, leaving her with fewer episodes. There were times when it rendered her completely helpless. No one could help her work through it. She had to control it on her own.

Grabbing the arms of the seat, she wished that she hadn’t taken the flight alone. Jack offered to fly back with her, but she assured him that she would be okay. Her hands become sweaty, and her heart rate started to pick up quickly. She found her breaths had shortened, and she tried desperately to control them. Where was Nathan? What was he doing? He should have been with her. Oh, what was she thinking? She shouldn’t be thinking of him, she was getting married in a matter of months. She could have used some comfort as much as she hated to admit it, the warmth and strength of the man she trusted with her life. Taking one of her magic pills, as she had come to call them, she alerted the flight attendant to awaken her before landing.

Closing her eyes, she expected to see the face of the man she would marry. Instead, she saw the face of Nathan Becker smiling at her. “You’re going to be fine, Allie, take my word for it. Hold my hand. You know I’m always here.” She found her breathing slowing, and her heartbeat returning to a much more acceptable rate. “That’s right, this is where you belong.” He wrapped her in his arms, and held her against his chest, which felt more like a brick wall, unstoppable, and sturdy. The air was sweet where he had transported her. More times than once he had taken her to one of the highest points outside of town. On many evenings, the old back road served as a dance floor for them, under an old maple tree. The secluded area had been theirs where they could dance as the city lights twinkled behind them. Equipped only with Nathan’s radio and a blanket, he would tune into a station that was impossible to hear in if they were in the city. Turning on the headlights, they danced in the beams of the old pick up, and drank soda from paper cups. Taking her hand, he danced with her under the blanket of stars. There was no longer any sound of music from the old pickup that she had come to love.

The large harvest moon that had lit the night, had found her with him, his sandy, blonde hair tousled. She loved his steel gray eyes, and the five o’clock shadow that always seemed to be present, no matter how often he shaved. He could be fun loving, but he always seemed to be overshadowed, his expression most often serious.

“I love you, Allie; you know that.” Looking up at him, she felt as if she was going to break down and cry. Yes, she knew he loved her, but there was a sweet sadness that rested upon him. He had clasped his large hands around hers, all but hiding them as they stood there. Not a word was said as his silent request was met when she closed her eyes. She could feel his breath against her as he slowly leaned in. He hadn’t touched her, yet her breath had already been taken from her. It was late fall, and the air held a chill to it. Nevertheless, she had felt none of it. He kissed her softly. Every emotion she ever imagined had poured into that one perfect show of affection.

Removing his denim jacket, he wrapped it around her shoulders, and rubbed her arms, warming them. If there was a time she had stars in her eyes, it was during his first declaration of his feelings for her. She had waited for it, dreamed of it, and he had finally admitted it. He led her that night to a blanket out in the middle of nowhere. As he sat down, he pulled her back into his chest, and wrapped his arms around her small frame. Leaning against him, she felt the beat of his heart against her back, along with his rapid breaths. A fine, unmistakable tremor came from him, and she knew they were on dangerous ground.

“You okay, Allison?”

His voice had taken her away from what she was witnessing of his body's reaction. It was the first time she felt as if she was more than a friend to him. Frankly, it scared her to death. They were treading on ground from where there was no turning back. He held her heart, and she knew it. He had for a long time, though she didn’t want to admit it to herself.

“I’m all right. Why?”

“You’re trembling.” Trying to hide what she was feeling wasn’t something she was capable of doing. She wasn’t cold, it was his presence, his close proximity. She had never felt that way before, and didn’t know what to do with the intense feelings.

“There’s no reason to be afraid of what you’re feeling, Allie,” he whispered. “I feel it too. Nothing is going to happen, unless we let it.” He stood, and offered his hand to help her up. “It’s time I took you home, your parents will be wondering where we are.”

Taking his hand, she stood, and immediately fell into his arms. Slowly, he wrapped his warm muscular arms around her. No matter what happened between them, she wouldn’t fear it. He chastely kissed the top of her head, and released her. It was a defense, it was obvious to her. Nathan picked up the blanket, took her hand, and walked her back to the truck. Driving them home in silence that night, she felt as though he were angry with himself for telling her how he felt, or worse, he was angry with her.

“Miss Hunter?”

Slowly, she fluttered her eyes, attempting to focus as she looked around.

“Miss Hunter, you asked me to wake you on descent. We are getting ready to land soon. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you.” She sat up, adjusted her belt, and then set her seat upright.

The finely manicured attendant walked closer to the head of first class as the captain cued his mic. “Hello, this is Captain Jay Simmons. We are approaching our destination. On behalf of the crew and myself, I want to take this opportunity to thank you for flying Atlantic Airways, and trust your trip has been an enjoyable one. We should be landing at Baltimore-Washington International in approximately ten minutes. The temperature outside is a pleasant eighty-two degrees. The forecast says it will be a beautiful day in Baltimore, so stop by the Inner Harbor, and enjoy the many sights our lovely city has to offer. Thank you once again for flying with Atlantic Airways. We get you where you’re going.”

Taking a deep breath, she heard the engines reverse, preparing to land at BWI. Thank goodness, the flight would soon be over, and she could set her feet on solid ground. Flying always left her on edge. The flight started a bit rough, but it hadn’t been as bad as normal. “Of course not, you spent all your time thinking of a man you can’t have.” She scolded herself as she collected her carry-on and purse, and exited the plane. “You’re just thinking of him because this is where it all started. It shouldn’t be this way, you’re getting married to a very powerful business man who has been more than patient with you. Suck it up, and get on with your life. Nathan Becker is out of your life, and has been for years, you have no business dredging that ghost up.” She continued reprimanding herself as she made her way to the terminal.

Jack would be waiting there for her, having promised he would be there the second she landed. Setting foot back in Baltimore left her with mixed feelings, and her intent was to rid herself of them as soon as she was in Jack’s arms. The turmoil started as soon as her foot hit the concrete floor. The scenes and smells were as they were when she and Nathan were together. Being determined she wasn’t going to let it affect her, she continued down the corridor. She should have been excited; she was home, a place she hadn’t been for a very long time. She should have been anticipating seeing Jack, but she wasn’t, not the way she should have. That alone had made her feel guilty.

It was the first time she had doubted their relationship. She had feelings for him, but did she love Jack? “You better bloody well love the man. You’ve spent the better half of the last two years with him. He stood by you when you were tormented by what you walked away from, something you could do nothing about. You aren’t in any better position now than you were then.”

As she left baggage claim, she headed to where Jack would be waiting. All she wanted to do was fall into his arms, and let him comfort her. It wasn’t something he often did. His stern personality many times left her guessing at how he felt. She had grown to accept his lack of an open public display of affection, or a private one for that matter. He always told her affection shown in that sort of way was unseemly.

Looking around, she searched for him. More than likely, he would be dressed in his suit and tie, and would be easily picked out from the crowd. It was close to seven in the evening, so he should be waiting. His office would have closed more than an hour ago. She continued to scan the room for his presence, not picking up on anyone who resembled her fiancé.

As she approached the door, she could see a man standing in what appeared to be a chauffeur’s uniform. Standing with his hands crossed in front of him properly, he presented himself as if he were standing at attention. Tipping his hat, he stepped forward and addressed her.

“Miss Hunter?”

She was shocked that the finely dressed man was speaking to her. He stood at approximately six foot two, with a body that appeared to be as hard as steel. His demeanor was as sharp as a foot soldier as he approached her with purpose.

“Yes, I’m Allison Hunter.”

“Mr. Dresden asked me to see to you. He sends his apologies.”

Her voice was a little hoarse as she answered her escort. “Thank you. Um, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Gladstone, Alfred Gladstone, Madam.” He bent at the waist as he addressed her. He looked to be in his mid to late thirties. Quietly, he picked up her baggage and opened the door.

“Of course.”

She found herself awestruck. It was bad enough that Jack hadn’t come to receive her himself, but he also sent a stranger. The gentleman who had come to pick her up didn’t look much older than her. It surprised her that Jack would leave her alone with such a young man, not to mention he wasn’t hard to look at. “I bet he was threatened with a firing squad if he put one finger on me.” She laughed to herself, knowing he was a very demanding, and possessive man.

Gladstone opened the door, and closed it behind her once she settled into the luxurious limo. Once in, she placed her handbag on the seat, and lay her hands across her lap. The Limo had a blackout screen separating the passenger area from the driver, so that it was private. The bench seats were a fine, crushed fabric that felt like silk under her fingers.

A pop came from overhead, and her driver soon addressed her. Alfred’s voice was low and smooth as he made his pointed announcement.

“There’s a wet bar available to you, and television for your entertainment, Miss Hunter. If there is anything else I can do to make your trip more enjoyable, please don’t hesitate to let me know. We should be at the Royal Hotel within the next thirty to forty minutes. Please sit back, and relax. Mr. Dresden will be meeting you later this evening.” The intercom died, and the floor illuminated along with the bar that sat in front of her. Jack had done things that were over the top before, but this was totally off scale. Sometimes it irritated her when she felt as if he was flaunting his wealth, instead of sharing it. She felt as if he was throwing it in her face. As far as her father’s wealth went, she had little to do with it, allowing him little control over her financially.

She hated to admit he had more control over her than she wanted. She tried to forget about it, more often than not. She left home to finish her degree, and had been working on it for years. She was now an established general practitioner. Before she returned to Baltimore, she applied for a position in the clinic, hoping to finish a degree specializing in Cardiology. That was a future business adventure, it wasn’t something she had to do right away. For now, she just wanted to enjoy her practice. She had been interested in medicine since she was a child, and it had given her a sense of accomplishment.

She gained confidence since she left and studied medicine. It was a way to get away from her overbearing father. If nothing else, it was a way to get out of his presence. He knew more of her life than she had anticipated, and more about her and her fiancé than she did. You would have thought that he was the one getting married to Jack. She thought it was going to be a shock to her father that she was getting married. He had known when she had called home to talk to her parents about their upcoming marriage. It was one of the few things she thought she had hidden well. It was kept low profile for more reasons than one. The main one was because of Jack. He wanted it that way. He had told her it was better to keep her out of the media, out of high-profile business because of her practice. If something was to suddenly happen, or the company was to have difficulties, it wouldn’t look good for her being involved with the man behind it.

She could understand it and accepted it. She hated that Jack had gone to functions without her, but he explained it over and over that it was to protect her. “You know he’s lying to you, how could you fall for what he’s telling you? You’re smarter than that.” She admonished herself repeatedly. Jack Dresden was a wealthy, powerful man who had grown accustomed to getting what he wanted. Over the last few months, he had learned to play the game, and play it well.

He was a self-made man, having gone from a struggling businessman to a millionaire. His classic good looks guaranteed him no lack of female companionship. Jack had never been the womanizer most had made him out to be. At least that was what she had been telling herself. Recently, she had doubts. Simple things made her wonder what company Jack had been keeping when she wasn’t beside him. She had never been the jealous type, and considered herself to be a flexible person. When it came to the man she would marry, she expected him to be faithful.

He caught her eye during her spring break. She watched him standing against the rail fence that led down to the private beach in North Carolina, trying to talk herself into introducing herself. She was invited by one of her classmates to stay a week at her family’s beach home. Jack had just started Dresden Communications, and was making a small fortune by that time. He’d come to meet some of the board members that weekend.

His lean frame rested against a fence post as he sported his board shorts, and silver-framed sunglasses that made his rich, suntanned skin appear darker. He stared out into the ocean for some time, and she sat on the sand for at least half an hour staring out into the horizon, following the waves in, trying to come up with a way to meet him, before he approached her.

She sat there holding a book as if she was reading it, but she hadn’t read the first word. It wouldn’t have been easy given that it was upside down. Jack hadn’t mentioned it if he had noticed. He introduced himself, and sat down on the blanket beside her. She remembered how it felt when she first met him. She was attracted to him; his personality was one of dominance. He liked things a certain way, and saw to it that it was. There was no asking for anything, it was mostly telling. He was very straight forward as he spoke, leaving nothing to question. Jack Dresden was a charmer, and he had instantly taken her in.

She smiled as she remembered. Jack held out his hand to her, and shook it as he introduced himself. “Hello, I’m Jack, Jack Dresden, and you are my date for this evening,” he grinned, wickedly. Under normal circumstance, she would have been appalled, but for some reason she found his approach alluring. His dark brown eyes looked like chocolate pools, making his approach more appealing. She couldn’t believe he had been alone. Over the time they dated, women had thrown themselves at him. He had passed them off in favor of her. That made her curious, because she felt she was no better than being average. Average looks, with an average build, nothing special. The one thing she liked about herself were her eyes. They were a brilliant green, but she hated her auburn hair and the way she was built. It always seemed as if she had to work twice as hard as the average person to stay in halfway decent shape.

Any woman would have been thrilled to be in her place. There was only one thing wrong with Jack Dresden, he wasn’t Nathan Becker. No matter how hard she tried to forget Nathan, she hadn’t been able to. She supposed by this time Nathan had a wife and children. He was one of the most handsome and loving men she ever met in her life. Like all other things that were good in her life, she had put it aside, because she felt she wasn’t good enough. She agreed to marry Jack because of her father. He told her she would have to marry a man who had a strong personality, one who was wealthy, and could put up with her not-so-perfect traits.

When her father found out about Jack, he practically pushed them down the aisle. It hadn’t hurt with Jack’s image in business, and it would surely help her father’s. To be seen with Jack, and the fact that his daughter was the one to capture Jack Dresden’s heart, would be quite the stir in the local and national news. She had been in the media little, but it had been a well-kept secret that Jack was getting married. She was known as the mystery woman in his life. For the moment, it was being kept out of the media. When it became beneficial, it would be leaked at the appropriate time.

The car came to a stop, and Gladstone opened the door, and assisted her from the luxury limo. “Miss Hunter, a room has been arranged for you. Please pick up the key from the front desk. Mr. Dresden will join you shortly.”

The staff had quickly taken her luggage, and made their way into the massive five star hotel. The contemporary hotel had a plush feel to it, from the art that was displayed, to the ceiling-to-floor windows. The pampering started as soon as she stepped inside. She was led nearly to the top floor, and into a room that was larger than the apartment she now lived in. The view was spectacular, looking out on the harbor. The bed was a large, magnificent beauty, decorated in crisp whites. On the table, was a large round vase filled with pink and yellow roses that set off the white room in a burst of color.

Setting down her purse, she found a carefully folded note on the side table next to the bed.

Allison,

I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your flight. I had a major business deal going down that I just couldn’t get out of, I’m sure you understand. I will finish with all the particulars around 8:30. I’ll pick you up at 9:00; we have a reservation at Mariette’s. You have a dress in the closet, and all the other fineries you will need for the evening in the dresser and vanity. I’ll see you soon. Don’t be late.

Jack

Uh-huh, short, sweet, and to the point as always. Shaking her head, she took in the room, sat down, and slipped off her shoes, then looked out on the harbor. It was a relief to give her feet a rest. Closing her eyes, she lay her head back. It had been a long day, and she just wanted to sit there, and absorb the silence of the room. After listening to the older couple across the aisle scream at each other because the other was hard of hearing, and the baby in front of her constantly crying, it left her drained. The nerve pill she had taken had given her a hungover feeling that she hated, but it made it easier to fly.

Looking at her watch, it was closing in on eight o’clock, time to get up and look in the closet to see what Jack had in mind for here. Opening the closet door, she knew his personal assistant picked out her clothes. Taking the garment bag to the bathroom, she quickly showered, and stepped out in record time. If he was punctual, and he nearly always was, he would be coming at any time. What was she saying, he was always on time? After fussing with her auburn mane, she opened the garment bag. Inside was a red, scoop neck thin strap dress with a high empire waist, cut to fit her curves as if it were made for her. Slipping it on, and zipping up the side, she noted the style of it. The dress looked like something from the 1950’s, an updated version of the era, simple but elegant. The plain, black kitten heel pumps slid on her feet comfortably. Even though they looked understated, she knew he had paid a small fortune for them. Jack had good taste, but he could have never done anything like this. He tried, he just wasn’t the romantic. He was a good man, and she appreciated that, but he could be hard to understand, and difficult to get to know.

Looking back into the image in the mirror, she didn’t recognize the uncomplicated woman she was. The woman who looked back at her appeared to be a well-maintained socialite, and she wasn’t comfortable with it. She had always been one to stay in the background. She should have known better. Jack, being a well-known man, he was always in the public eye. The woman on his arm was just as vital as he was, and had to show confidence and assurance, and look the perfectly maintained socialite. She felt more like a sex kitten being put on show, even though Jack didn’t like the idea of other men ogling her.

Turning, and walking out of the bath, she turned out the lights, made her way into the main living area, and looked out onto the harbor. The scene was soothing, and gave her a sense of calm, something she needed all day. She sat in the large, black chaise, and tried to relax as she waited for Jack, forgetting about the day’s events. The solitude was welcoming. It wasn’t often that she had the opportunity. Her job was demanding, and she loved the idea of being alone at times. Looking at her watch, she saw it was half past nine. She couldn’t imagine what held him up. She turned the music on from a local channel, listening to something that was far older than she was. As she listened, it reminded her of the station she and Nathan listened to years before.

The soft, light rock and love songs from the seventies had always been her favorites, but it had a mix of light rock and country. Some of which she had heard over and over back then. She hadn’t listened to music from that genre for a very long time. Each time she heard it she was led down a path that was lonely and dangerous to travel, yet she found herself on it again. Standing in the lights cascading off the harbor, she swayed in the darkness of the room with her eyes closed. The images of Nathan danced in her mind as she remembered another time, under the tree on a back road above the city. It was summer, and Nathan was trying his best to teach her how to two-step. She smiled to herself. She felt as though she had two left feet. Nathan had laughed as he tried repeatedly to teach her.

When a slow song followed it, she tripped and fell into his arms, leaving her encircled in the warmth of them. She looked up at him with a half laugh. Before she said another word, he had leaned down and kissed her passionately. Her hope had all been in the man who held her. She loved him then, and the sweetness of that time came to life every time she thought of him. She couldn’t remember him ever having a harsh word.

She blamed herself for what happened between them. She had been young and stupid, allowing her father to manipulate her, and whom she would be allowed to love. “Leave it alone, you know you can’t go back.” Sitting back down, she stretched her small frame out on the leather chaise, and felt the plush, soft luxury of it. Slipping off her shoes, she closed her eyes, and slowly drifted off, listening to the soft music that carried her off on a cloud, far from where she was.

The clouds cleared as she found herself in silken sheets, looking at the man who lay beside her. Her head rested against his shoulder, with her arm across his chest. The light smattering of his chest hair prickled under her hand, the softness of his breathing landed against her bare skin. His blond hair was ruffled, and the roughness of his beard left him just as handsome as he had ever been. She recognized the image of the man she ingrained in her memory. Tracing his opposite shoulder, she noticed the shine of a silver wedding band as the sun hit it from the open curtain. Sighing, she sank into him as if she had no idea if she could breathe without him.

He moaned as he squeezed her against him. “Good morning, sweetheart,” he mumbled. “How was your first night of wedded bliss?”

Looking at the hand he wrapped around her, she saw his matching band, identical to her own. Smiling, she looked up at him. “Wonderful, but I have one question for you?”

Nathan chuckled as he watched her face. “What’s that, sweetheart?”

“When did we do this,” showing him her ring she wiggled her finger.

He looked her up and down, and smiled. “Allison, I’m here, time to get up.” He shook her slightly as he looked into her eyes. “Allison, time to get up.”

She shook her head when he declared that they hadn’t gotten married, and urged her again. “Hey, Allison, time to get up.”

Her eyes slowly fluttered open. “Nathan,” she whispered softly.

“Allison? Hey, it’s me, Jack. Time to get up.”

She opened her eyes to see Jack standing over her in his suit jacket, his tie wrapped around his neck, and hanging loosely. His hand rested on his waist. He grinned wickedly down at her. A smile on his face was one of the things she saw little of lately. He wore it well, and it was enough to bring any woman to her knees. When her eyes focused, she looked at the clock. One am. What in the world?

“Jack, it’s one in the morning, where have you been? You should have been here hours ago.”

Jack sat at the end of the chaise, looked at her, and grinned like a Cheshire cat. His hair was askew, and his clothes appeared rumpled. “Long story, but I did manage to land a large account. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Taking her hand, he helped her to stand, and kissed her on the cheek. Not much of a welcome, considering she was the woman who would soon be sharing his bed. Her nose caught a strange scent as he had pulled her close to his neck.

The hint of perfume lingered against him, and had caused anger and confusion to rise in her. She wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe he was getting tired of waiting for what was his. She had dated him for just under two years, and hadn’t been with him physically. She had felt it complicated things, and it wasn’t something she was ready for at the time. She had seen what a relationship like that did to people. It wasn’t the morality of it, although it was part of it, one of protection. The more attachment, the more the grief if it didn’t work out. Besides, she felt as if the man who felt she was worth waiting for was the right man.

“Jack, was your business with a female associate?”

“No, why,” he said, smoothly.

“Nothing,” she quipped. “I was just wondering.”

It was reported more than once that Jack had an eye for beautiful women. It wasn’t something she had ever caught him at, and she prayed that she wouldn’t, but it wasn’t the first time she doubted him.

“I can’t stay, but I wanted to check on you before I went to the apartment. I checked on the house, and it’s on schedule. We should be able to move in a week before the wedding.” He looked her up and down with a smirk that wasn’t something he often did. For some reason, it had made her uncomfortable. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to take you out, you look lovely.” Tipping her chin, he kissed her chastely, and walked toward the door. She walked behind him, wondering what just happened. She noticed an increasing distance with him, as if he was hiding something.

As he reached for the door, he turned once again to her. “Oh, mother has an engagement party planned. She’ll be releasing the wedding date at that time, so there will be a lot of notable people there. The press is always a circus, we want to make a good impression. When I have the details, I’ll fill you in.” Leaning in, he kissed her once again on the cheek, opened the door, and proceeded down the hall and out of sight without another word. Closing the door, not only did the room seem empty, so did she.

As she walked back into the room, she shut out the light as she sat down on the bed, and tried to make some sense out of what just happened. Where had Jack been all this time? It was bad enough that he hadn’t picked her up at the airport as promised, but he missed their date too, the one he planned, and told her exactly what to wear.

Laying down, she didn’t bother to take off the dress she wore, just turned down the bed. All she could feel was unsettled emotions as she lay there. Tears seemed to want to brim, but she wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t proved that Jack had done a thing, other than what he said he’d been doing. All she had were speculations, and suspicions that held no merit.

Chapter Three

Jack woke early, and ran his hand over his morning stubble. Sucking in a deep breath, he stretched, reaching for his watch on the bedside table. It was time to get up and go to work. Thoughts ran through his head that he must to try to get to his office early, and get it in some workable shape.

“Jack, where are you going?” The brunette beside him drew her long, manicured nail down his arm and purred, as he sat on the edge of the bed trying to wake himself enough to get his day underway.

“It’s Monday, I have work to do.” He never turned to look at her as he stood and pulled on his clothes from the night before. He ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to put his dark hair into some shape, before stepping from the room.

“You’re the boss, darling, you can go in anytime you like, besides, I know your backer personally, and I don’t think she would mind you going in a little later than usual. You know I have an extreme appetite for a particularly young, powerful, businessman. It doesn’t hurt that he is devilishly handsome, and dedicated to rising to the top.”

From behind him, he could feel her breath on his neck as she traced his ear. Sure, she was gorgeous, any man would have enjoyed the attention she rained on him, but she was a devious businesswoman. Her idea was to take what she needed from him, and she would fund his company. He wasn’t happy about it, but she was the money behind Dresden Communications for the time being. He would eventually buy his way out from under her. In the meantime, he would use her for his pleasure. She didn’t need to know that, and he wasn’t going to tell her. She wasn’t the only woman in the picture. The only woman who needed to be shielded from all of it was Allison.

He wasn’t sure why it mattered. Allison, even though he couldn’t say he loved her, he wasn’t completely cold toward her. In his way, he loved the person she was. His business advisor had encouraged him to find a decent woman and settle his not so quiet life down. Well, it was more like, find someone from a well-known family who is known in the social circles. The better the woman, the better the company, and the better his reputation would become. He hadn’t planned on getting married; he wasn’t the marrying type. He liked being able to date different women and the social life. He just couldn’t see that it made a difference.

Regina McCarthy was a by the book businesswoman, and most men fell at her feet. Not just because of her looks, but because she held the financial backing of some of the most prestigious companies in the United States. She was focused, and rarely followed the rules. At fifty-two, she would have given any woman in her twenties a run for their money. She was an intelligent, wealthy, influential woman, determined to have what she wanted. It was rare for her not to have many men surrounding her at any event. To say the least, she was rarely lonely.

“I have calls to make, and a company to get off the ground if you want me to make some money for you.” Fastening his belt, he turned and looked at the brunette in his bed, wrapped in white linen sheets. “I need to get out of here before other plans that have been made fall apart.”

“Afraid Ms. Goody-goody will see you leaving the hotel, lover?”

“You know, if she finds out where I was last night she’ll walk out. I don’t think you want that. It wouldn’t look favorable on your prized boy.” He pulled on his jacket, adjusted his collar, and picked up his keys from the nearby chair. “It might benefit you to know that Allison is down the hall, in a hotel room I funded for her. I was supposed to meet her for supper last night. The supper you interrupted for your so-called business meeting.”

“You didn’t seem to mind,” she smiled, wickedly. “If you loved her so much, you wouldn’t have been with me. I know you’re no boy scout, so don’t play me. I know your type.” Rising from the bed herself, she wrapped herself in the white linen sheet, and stood in front of him, placed her arms lazily around his neck, and kissed him with fire. He could feel the heat of her possessiveness as her claws came out, she pulled back, and growled at him like a lioness. “Don’t worry, love, I won’t spill the beans. I’m exceptional at being bad. I’ll be discreet. Your little wife-to-be will never know about me, unless you step out of line.”

Jack very chillingly smiled at her, and squeezed her wrist toward him harder than needed. “Don’t make promises you aren’t willing to keep, Regina. I could get you for blackmail. Believe me, I’d win.”

“Yes, darling, you could,” she snarled, with a threatening, frigid tone of her own. “But you wouldn’t want it to get out that you were with another woman the night your fiancée came to town. Makes for some nasty publicity, don’t you think? Besides, you like what I can do for you. I bet Miss Lilywhite hasn’t been around the block once has she? She could never keep up with a man like you, not like me. How old is she? Think about it, she’s in her late twenties, and has never experienced a man. That’s part of the reason you came to me.”

“I wouldn’t get used to the idea, Regina. Everything comes to an end eventually, don’t threaten me.” Releasing her arms with a jerk, he calmly walked out, shutting the door behind him. His mind raced as he walked with purpose, and pulled his Ray-Bans from his pocket. “She has got to be out of her mind if she thinks she has that kind of control over me,” kept repeating in his mind like a broken record. Shifting the car into gear, he let Tchaikovsky take him away as he drove toward Dresden Communications. He would get the company off the ground here, and make sure Regina McCarthy received back her investment and then some. All it took was one major contract, and he was done with her arrangement, and it wasn’t going to end any too soon.

When he started the company, he had never intended for it to be like this. He would have liked to be able to get it up and to run on his own, but without the funding and a well-known name, it was next to impossible. He dug himself a hole he desperately needed to get out of. Getting into bed with Regina McCarthy had been a big mistake. She could take him down, and everything he had built, with a single sweep of her finger. His consultant advised him to go into business with her because of her financial mind. He hadn’t planned to find himself in a relationship he hadn’t wanted.

If Allison found out about any of this, it would mean the end of his plans for his company, and the perfect wife for his image. Having the reputation of a playboy wasn’t good for a man who was in a high-tech business. People needed to be able to trust him, and if he settled down with a good woman and had a stable family life, that’s what needed to happen. If Allison found out about his indiscretions, it would end immediately.

The sun beamed off the magnificent glass building as Jack pulled into the parking garage, slowly getting a grip on what was happening. He didn’t have to do anything she said. If it came down to it, he would sell shares, or offer them to his board members, making them partners before he would do anything further financially with her. There had to be another way. He enjoyed her body, and what she was able to give him, but that was all she had. Her affections left him cold. He wanted control, he needed control, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had it.

Stepping from the car, he headed to the elevator as his cell phone rang, startling him from his unwelcome thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at the screen seeing Allison was on the other end. He didn’t know if he should be thrilled that she had called him, or cautious. He wasn’t exactly in the best position to talk, and she excelled at times at reading people.

Calling the elevator, he answered her. “Allison, good morning, love. What are you doing up so early, it’s only seven o’clock.”

“I know, but I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t get to see you long yesterday; I wanted to see if you were free for lunch. I haven’t seen much of you over the last few weeks.”

Looking down at the floor, he cleared his throat and took control of his voice. “I know, but I have been extraordinarily busy. I’m sorry I missed our date last night; I wanted to be there.” He could feel his neck go stiff as he spoke deception. She could never know that he was with Regina. He wasn’t lying exactly, he was sorry he missed their date, knowing he would have been much better off with her.

“I understand. The bridesmaids and I are going for a final fitting today, and I thought I would stop by, but if you’re busy I’ll see you later.”

“No, Allison, that’s not it at all,” he took a moment, but only a short one, and then he knew what he would do. It wasn’t typical, but he had to cover somehow. “Why don’t you come around one this afternoon, I should have at least an hour to spend with you before meetings, we can try to make plans for later tonight.”

“Okay, if you think it won’t interfere with your work.”

“Hey, I’m the boss, remember? I can take some time off to see my gorgeous fiancée.”

He could feel her smile over the phone, and knew he had passed the test. The elevator doors opened to the Dresden Communications offices. As he walked by his secretary, he gave her a wink and proceeded to pick up his messages as he finished his call.”

“Good, I’ll see you then.”

“Sure, love. I’ll be waiting.” He grinned, and hung up the cell as he opened the heavy oak door that led into his massive office. Sitting down, he lay the mail in the in tray, and looked through the large pile of files on the desk. One by one, he needed to go through them, find some of the best contracts, and make them an offer. He was determined to get Dresden off the ground. It wasn’t as if his company hadn’t made him money. In fact, it had made him wealthy, but it wasn’t near enough to get out from under Regina’s thumb.

His secretary addressed him over the intercom, bringing him once again from his thoughts, “Mr. Dresden, Mr. Walker is on line four.”

“Thank you, Georgia. Can you hold my other calls? Oh, and if you get a call from Miss Hunter, tell her I’ll call her back.”

“Yes, sir.”

Reaching for the intercom, he connected with Mr. Walker. This was the opportunity he had been waiting for. Carl Walker was a major businessman, and desired only the best products. He was in engineering and wanted to make some changes with his company, Right Desk Engineering.

“Yes, Carl, good to hear from you.”

“Jack, I wondered if you would be in this early. I know you were going to pick up your lovely fiancée. It was late when you left, and knowing you hadn’t seen her for some time, I didn’t expect you in.” Carl chortled, as he conversed with him.

“Things do change, Carl; I have a business to run. Allison knows it’s going to be taking up a good bit of my time, and she has her career.”

“Yes, I hear she’s a smart young lady.”

“I think so. What can I do for you?”

“Well, right to business, Jack, as normal. I like that. I wanted to talk to you about upgrading some of my equipment. I need one of your best to do some marketing for me, plus I think I could use some new programs. I’m thinking hi-tech, are you’re up to it?”

“Always ready to deliver, Carl. I’ll see that you get what you want.”

“Somehow, I knew you would. It isn’t just one or two pieces I’ll need. I intend to overhaul the entire company. I know you’ll see that it’ll be taken care of, and to my specifications.”

After finishing his conversation with Carl Walker, Jack felt good about his company, and it was finally going to take a large leap in the industry. As the owner, he could do this, and he wouldn’t need Regina backing him. Tapping a pencil on his desk, he looked out onto the city, taking in the day, and wondering what he could do to move things a little further along. The door opened behind him, and he thought it was Allison, but looking at the time, she would have been an hour early for their lunch date. Without turning around, he thought of her sweet smile, and her innocence, which always amazed him. He never pushed, although he would have been there, and ready, had she given him the word. It didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be long before she belonged to him fully.

The footsteps were light, and that of a woman in heels. Turning in the chair, he saw the smile of a barracuda, compared to the virtuousness of his bride in waiting. Regina stepped into the room as most killers would. Assuredness and deviance oozed from her. She was cunning, never leaving much to a man’s imagination. Oh yes, she was dressed subtly, for most women it would have been considered conservative. It was how she wore it that attracted attention. Her finely tailored suits and dresses defined every curve of her body perfectly. Her poise was that of a high-end model, leaving most women feeling less than average.

Jack couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her as she swayed her hips, taking the last steps to his desk. Her skirt rose up her thigh as she sat on the edge of his desk, and crossed her ankles. Her red, glossed lips reminded him of the red of the poisoned apple given to Snow White. He had waded into deep water, and Regina McCarthy didn’t believe in survivors once she sunk her claws into them. She had buried three men alive, and put one in the grave. The poor soul who ended up in the grave had been much better off than her three ex-husbands.

Her hair was put up neatly in a chignon, just hitting the top of her white, silk blouse. Leaning in slightly, she smiled brightly at him. Her characteristic move was for his benefit and not hers; he had no doubt of that. He sat with his hands relaxed, along with the rest of his body, not giving her an inch of satisfaction. He ran his finger lightly under his lower lip, and smiled at her. This time, he knew a little more than she knew, and he planned to keep it to himself for as long as he could.

“What is it, lover, aren’t you glad to see me? I thought after last night you’d be more than pleased.” Leaning into him, she lifted his tie, and ran it through her fingers like a tigress. “I can make a repeat performance here. Now if you like.” She purred at him, giving him a look that would have melted most men. For some reason, her seduction left him unmoved. He didn’t mind taking what he wanted if she was offering, but in the end, it wasn’t what he wanted. He liked to do the pursuing. He liked being the hunter, looking for just the right one, and making her his.

“What’s wrong, Regina? Not enough men in the bullpen to keep you happy.”

“On the contrary, darling, I have many waiting for me. I chose to come after you. Count yourself lucky. I don’t normally do seconds with any man.”

“I would say that was a pretty good interpretation of your extracurricular activities, Regina. You’ve left some good men drowning. I don’t plan to be one of them. You’ve left most of them destitute.”

She gestured with her hand, spinning her finger with an evil chuckle. “You can’t blame me for that. I deserved what I got from the relationships I was in.”

“You’ve certainly have many relationships, Regina, but the men you buried didn’t owe you a thing. I know it, and you know it. Those men fell in love with you, and you sucked them in.”

She smiled devilishly, thinking she had her claws in another man. “You scared, Jack?” She lifted an eyebrow as she sat down in his lap, and traced his jaw line. “I can make you an insanely rich man, not to mention a very satisfied one.” Untying the Windsor knot he had so carefully placed earlier in the day, she pulled his tie away, and started to unbutton her shirt. She drew her long finger down the front of his tailored shirt, thinking she was giving him what he wanted.

He clasped her hands together as she made her descent. “No, Regina. Not now.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t want me? I know better than that. Your body tells me a much different story.”

“Not now. I have work to do, and so do you.”

She stood from her stalking position. She buttoned her blouse, giving him a scorching look, and was soon back to the immaculately dressed woman she had been when she entered the room. She didn’t seem too happy that he had blown her off. She walked toward the office door. Stopping short, she turned to find Jack standing behind her with a hand in the pocket of his trousers, and the other casually at his side. Without warning, she took hold of his tie, and pulled him in for a kiss. She growled at him as if she were stalking her prey. If she had her way, he wasn’t getting away. Regina turned sharply, closing the door behind her, leaving him shaking his head. He had a long day ahead of him, and more than enough work to keep him occupied without chasing a cougar. Hopefully, Regina would keep her appetite at bay so he could manage what needed doing, and still get home at a decent hour for once.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Allison and her bridesmaids met at a small boutique just outside the city. She couldn’t help how she felt as she walked through the door. It was as if she carried a dark cloud over her. A heavy weight sat on her shoulders, leaving her with the feeling of impending doom. She took a deep breath as she turned to see Bridgette walking from the fitting room in her blush pink dress, made from double satin. The ivory detailing across the shoulders and the cowl neckline gave the appearance of a wedding from the early 1950’s. It was striking against her darker skin. Her jet-black hair accented her high cheekbones and dark, almond eyes. As Bridgette walked toward her, she beamed with excitement. “Allison, loosen up, it’s supposed to be a happy time for you. You act as if you have all the troubles of the world on you.” Her smile fell when she didn’t see the expression she had expected from her best friend. “What is it? You haven’t been happy for months.”

She sat down, and looked around the room, not believing she was finally sitting there. In a few short months, she would be standing by Jack in a local chapel proclaiming her love to him. It had been what she wanted. At least that’s what she thought she wanted. She had chalked it up to pre-wedding jitters—the cold feet kind of deal that all brides seemed to go through. Shaking her head, she gave Bridgette a tortured smile, and assured her she was fine, even though she had felt far from it.

The rest of her bridesmaids stepped out one at a time as they looked to her for approval. The dresses all fit well. That was a relief. At least that was one worry gone.

“Come on, Allison, it’s your turn. I can’t wait to see it.”

Trying to shake off the haunting feeling she stood, and walked toward the curtained dressing area, being met by an enthusiastic clerk, who smiled and pushed her along as she carefully carried her 50’s style dress, before hanging it next to her. “Your intimates are also with your dress. Please let me know if you need assistance.” As she closed the curtain and turned around, she sat down for a moment in a small gold-rimmed chair in the corner, and let out a breath, blowing her bangs out of her face. Something was wrong with what happened last night, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. The air had a thickness to it when Jack had awakened her. She had been happy to see him, but she much rather he would have met her as promised. Knowing that his time was consumed by his business, she felt as though she was a scowling child.

Kicking off her shoes, she stood, and unzipped the garment bag that carefully concealed her wedding dress. Inside, she found a corset that she should have known was going to have difficulty putting on without assistance. She had chosen it for more than one reason, the main one being that she couldn’t wear a traditional bra. The straps would show in the dress, sticking out like a sore thumb. She tried on the shoes that were in the same style and theme of her wedding. The shoes were the only color she would be wearing, and were a pale, blush pink with a satin ribbon that ran at the side of her ankle. Pulling the crinoline on, she slipped into her dress, then called for Bridgette to assist her. She felt distracted, not enjoying her day as she should, and it was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“Sorry, Bridge, but I can’t get this on alone,” She said, holding up the corset, covering herself, showing her friend what she needed. “The corset must fit in order to make the dress look right.” Sighing, she looked over her shoulder at her best friend.

“Its fine, you worry too much. This is supposed to be a happy day for you, Al, what gives? You look so… so solemn.” Taking the strings to the corset, she tugged and pulled them together, leaving little room for breathing, but it was meant to give her a trim waistline and hold her in, giving her an hourglass figure.

“Allison, are you sure you’re happy with Jack? You haven’t been yourself for the last couple of months. Has he done something to you? You would tell me if he had, wouldn’t you?” There was a short silence, and then Bridgette’s eyes grew large. “Oh my, you aren’t pregnant are you? I mean, if you were it wouldn’t be a big deal, those kind of things happen every day.”

Bridgette peered at her through the mirror as she finished and zipped her dress. “I assure you, Bridge, I’m not pregnant, and I’m okay. Jack hasn’t done anything to me. And yes, I am happy with him. He’s an amazing, passionate man, and is very attentive to me.”

Bridgette grinned as she watched her, and placed her veil for a quick look. “There’s one more thing you still haven’t taken care of.”

“I don’t think so. I took care of the caterer, the photographer, the minister was taken care of by Jack, the hall is rented, the musicians have been picked out, and the cake, what’s left?”

“You are organized, aren’t you? I wasn’t talking about the wedding itself. I was talking about your lingerie. You want to knock his socks off.”

“I don’t know, I just thought I would wear the chemise I already have.

“No, no, no. I’ve seen it. You look like an old woman in that. We can look when we’re finished here. I’m sure there’s something here that goes with the theme of your wedding.”

“Bridge, come on, I’m nervous enough.”

“You mean you and Jack? You never? You didn’t ever?”

Rolling her eyes, she tried to hide the flush on her face as a Bridgette’s started to turn pale. She had never discussed her physical relationship with her best friend, or anyone else. She felt that it was private, and didn’t want to discuss it. There was more than one reason that she and Jack had never been together. Fear was one of them. She had never had that kind of relationship with anyone, and that meant the protective walls would have to come down if it did.

“No.” she replied, in a much shakier voice than she had intended.

“Oh, my goodness. Al, I always thought that you and Jack… Did you have that kind of relationship with Nathan?” Bridgette could see by her response that she had never had that type of relationship with either of the men she had a serious relationship with.

“Allie, are you a virgin?”

Nodding her head, she turned away. She wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that she was, only that she was discussing it.

“Does Jack know that?”

“Yes.” She stood, pointing her toes inward, and looked down at the floor.

“He never tried?”

“No, but we’ve discussed it. He understands.”

“Wow, I don’t think I know anyone else that is.”

Her voice raised in defense as she straightened her posture. “Stop talking about it as if it’s something terrible. It isn’t some disease.”

“Oh, no, Allison, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant most people our age have at least once. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Feeling uncomfortable, she adjusted her dress, stood back, and looked at the woman in the mirror. She felt nauseous, but pushed past it. She hadn’t eaten since she woke that morning, and had eaten little the night before. Her stomach growled in protest, having been empty since yesterday afternoon. She had waited for Jack to pick her up that evening and fallen asleep, never waking until he had appeared in her room in the middle of the night. She hadn’t wanted anything, and by the time he arrived, she’d gone to bed. This morning left her restless when she had dressed, and collected her thoughts. There were too many things going on, and not enough time to do them in, not to mention she had spent most of the night dreaming of an old flame that should have died out years ago.

“You look stunning, turn around, and look in the three-way. The dress fits you perfectly, Al. I can’t believe it, after all this time you’re finally going to do it. You’re finally getting married.”

Her bridesmaids soon changed, and disbanded from the dress shop, leaving her to find her way to Dresden Communications, where she would meet with her soon-to-be husband. As she walked, she reflected on the morning, and told herself there was no reason to feel so glum. In a few months, she would be Mrs. Jack Dresden, and all would finally be right with the world. Laughing to herself, she remembered Jack taking her out sailing the year they had met. He was good at so many things, and romancing a woman was one of his best. She thought of him as a modern day Romeo, and found it difficult not to fall for his undeniable charm. Sometimes, she found it hard to believe that Jack looked at her twice. He was intelligent, and was quick on his feet, never allowing anyone to get the upper hand. He could have anyone he pleased. She was just glad it was her. She couldn’t say that things were always smooth, or comfortable, but most days she found herself settled enough. She knew Jack well enough that if he made a commitment, he kept it.

The late summer afternoon was unseasonably cool. Most of the time when she was growing up in Baltimore, she found it stifling. Thank goodness, she’d chosen to walk from the boutique, instead of taking public transport. This time of year usually meant there were last minute vacationers, and they came in herds. Managing to get on and off a trolley or bus was more of a sporting event. It gave her time to think about the coming events, and whether anything had been left out. The one thing she hadn’t done was go home to see her parents. She had no idea what she would find when she returned, which was the reason she hadn’t given them a specific day or time when she would be there.

The immense building came into view, and she stopped and took it in. Its glass and steel structure was majestic, seamless in its construction. It appeared as if it touched the sky with its clean and well-attired, brushed silver emblems, its reflective glass preventing anyone seeing in from the outside as it sat in seclusion behind a line of oak trees and well-manicured shrubs. Yeah, Jack had taken in every detail. It was masculine, sleek, and authoritative.

She felt small walking into the massive space. The room was empty, except for the masterful oak desk that was artfully trimmed in silver, and a lone, green plant standing in the corner of the room. The green, spiked plant bent in multiple directions, then draped down each piece, looking like an individual fan.

“Hello, may I help you?”

The young woman sat behind the desk greeted her with a smile that seemed forced. Her hair pulled back into a sleek style appeared to pull the character from her face.

“I’m here to see Mr. Dresden.”

She quickly looked over the paper in front of her, and without looking up, she addressed her once again. “Your name?”

“Allison Hunter. Mr. Dresden’s expecting me.”

After a moment, she looked over the list again, and then proceeded to make a call. She could hear part of the muffled conversation, but it was so lacking in volume that she was able to make little or no sense of it. Looking around the office, she noticed there were a few pieces of art lining the wall, all of them black and white images, one, a set of stairs that led to nowhere but darkness, one of a thunderstorm with large, gray clouds, and another of a giant Ferris wheel. None of them seemed to go together, and not one looked like something Jack would have picked.

“Miss Hunter?” The blonde stood, carefully balancing on her stiletto heels, and straightened her skirt. “Mr. Dresden will see you now. Take the first elevator on your left, it will take you directly to his office.” The young woman smiled, and directed her toward the elevator. Wow, that was a change in personality.

“Thank you…”

“Angelia.”

“Thank you, Angelia.”

Feeling more confident than when she entered, she walked the few feet to the elevator, and it opened immediately, as if it was waiting for her. As she stepped in, it was apparent it was an executive elevator. Highly polished silver and wood surrounded the car. An ornate mirror reflected her image as if she were trapped in a box. The car took off as soon as the door closed. The trip hadn’t taken long when the door opened silently. She found herself standing before another set of glass doors that housed another office. Opening the door left her feeling out of place. The room was cold looking, surrounded by what appeared to be a dream. Everything was in muted black and white. Black and white art hung on the walls, with images from fields of hay, to a woman with her profile covered by her hair.

A beautiful woman rounded the desk, her blonde hair bobbed, and dressed in a well-tailored black skirt that hit her knee. The woman’s dark brown eyes were kind, but something about her made her feel inadequate. Jack was surrounded by beautiful women, and she wasn’t sure if she liked that.

Holding out her hand, she grasped Allison’s, shaking it. “Miss Hunter, nice to meet you. My name’s Georgia. Mr. Dresden is waiting for you in his office.” She pointed the way, and stepped beside her as she escorted her down a short hallway. Knocking on the door, Georgia waited patiently for his answer.

“Yes, enter, Georgia.”

She opened the door, and they stepped in. Jack was embroiled in his work, his wire frames perfectly placed, and balanced on his sculpted face. The stress showed in the lines on his forehead, and she felt guilty for disturbing him during his business hours.

“Mr. Dresden, Miss Hunter to see you.”

Looking up, Jack removed his glasses, placing them on the desk, and looked at his watch. He returned his attention to the two women who were now standing in his office. “Of course, Georgia, thank you.” Georgia smiled and walked away, shutting the door behind her. Jack stepped away from his desk as he removed his jacket and loosened his tie. Sauntering toward her, he showed her to a white, leather couch. “Come in, Allison, I’m so glad to see you.” He never cracked a smile as he stood beside the sectional in his office. After she sat down, it sucked her in so much she could barely move. He sat beside her, angled so he was looking directly at her. His heavy stare made her anxious, and she began to squirm.

“It’s been a rough morning, but we’re getting there, I signed a major deal last night, and received another pretty large contract this morning. Maybe, after I get these contracts underway, I can slow up some.” Reaching out, he traced her jaw, and offered a chaste grin, “I’m sorry about yesterday, I wanted to meet you at the airport. I’ve missed you.” His voice sounded strained as he spoke. Taking her hand, he looked down at their now joined hands, and lay them against his thigh. “I should have been there last night for our supper date. It seems that I have no time to do what I need to do, and to be with anyone other than clients.”

“Jack,” It only takes a few minutes to pick up a phone. I wish you had called.”

Picking up her hand, he kissed her knuckles, and gently rubbed them. “I know, I’m sorry, Allison.” Looking up at her, he adjusted his expression, and his smile widened. “I’m happy that you decided to join me for lunch.” Kissing her on the cheek, he walked over to the large, in-the-wall bar, and mini kitchen in the corner of the office, the only thing in the room that had any color other than oak, and silver. There he had managed to add some blue and white décor. A few pieces in the room looked like framed structures, and on the desk stood a Newton’s cradle, the executive’s stress reliever.

Turning, he made his way back to where she sat, and placed a tray filled with different cheeses, fresh fruit, and mini cucumber sandwiches on the luxury table before her. Taking his place beside her, he took a linen napkin from a basket that sat beside the couch, and lay it across her lap. “I hope you don’t mind, I had Antonio at the Hole in the Wall make a lunch for us. I have ice tea, Perrier, or we could have a glass of white wine, whatever you like.” His sudden attentiveness wasn’t easily understood. Jack was an all or nothing kind of guy; there was never a choice.

“I’ll have whatever you have, Jack, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Pouring out a glass of ice tea, he took the small plates that he had most certainly painstakingly chosen, and filled it with cheese, fruit, and sandwiches. As he started to settle in, he turned and looked at her with his large interrogating eyes. He always seemed to be able to read her quickly and accurately.

“What is it, Allison? You seem to be preoccupied, is there something bothering you?”

His question left her without an explanation. Why had she been so wary of his intentions? He hadn’t done anything to warrant them. Perhaps it was because they had been apart so much lately. She understood he needed to get his business running smoothly so that it had a solid foundation. The first year was going to be rough on the company, and them. His time was spent in his career, and he assumed that their relationship was at the point where they didn’t have to be together constantly. Still, she missed his attention, and to have it now left her unsettled.

“Nothing, I’m sorry. My mind is so cluttered, what with the wedding and all. I spent all morning at the boutique with girls in the bridal party for our last fitting.”

“Everything went alright, didn’t it?” He looked at her, his forehead creasing in concern.

“Yes, thank goodness, I was afraid maybe my dress wouldn’t fit.”

He grinned, and lifted his glass. “Allison, you haven’t had an issue with your weight—ever. Why would you think it would be a problem now?”

“I don’t know, weddings don’t always go as planned. I’ve heard all these horror stories about the bride’s dress not being what they ordered, or they were altered and ended up too small.” She sighed in a breath of relief. Closing her eyes, he took her hands in his. A calm filled her instantly. Opening her eyes once more, she found him looking at her, smiling.

“Allison, you’re the only person I know who can take a lovely event, and turn it into an ultimate disaster before anything ever happens. Come on, relax, this is supposed to be one of the most memorable days in your life. Do you want to spoil it with all the what-ifs?”

She guessed he was right. She always came to the worst-case scenario. No matter what it was, it had to have a terrific downside to it. She’d been that way since she was a child, and it followed her through college. She told herself as she had gone from class to class that she would never make it through college. She would never graduate, she wasn’t smart enough. If she did, what made her think she would remember everything she needed to when it came down to making a critical decision? Always the doom and gloom.

“Everything is going to be okay, Allison. Leave the planning to a wedding coordinator. I can call and make arrangements this afternoon if you like. I’ll go with you if you want, but you need to let some of this go. You need to go out with your friends, and do what girls do before they get married. Have a bachelorette party, or get a manicure, a massage, whatever you want. I’ll take care of it, just don’t fret so much. I want my bride happy, and looking forward to her wedding day, instead of looking for everything that can go wrong.”

Leaning into her, he removed the plate from her hand. “You need to save some of that energy you use to worry for our wedding night.” He took her quickly into his lap, and kissed her. Jack wasn’t the affectionate type, and it was a welcome surprise. Maybe, she was fussing way too much about their time apart. It was as if she were at the beginning of their relationship once again. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she was determined to make it work.

Chapter Four

“So how was the date, Dynamite?” Bryson asked, his shoulder jabbing him as he walked to the firehouse. “Was she as good as Todd made her out to be?” He smirked, as he sat down at the wooden table. He guessed now he was the talk of the entire firehouse. It was beyond his turn for them to take a jab.

“For your information, Slider, which is going to very limited, you know, seeing as you only have a third-grade mind, she was a very nice young lady, and I enjoyed her company.”

“I bet you did. I heard the very curvaceous Constance had her hands all over you.”

“That was in the hospital, and I was out of it. She was very ladylike. Not many like that anymore.”

“You mean little red riding hood went out with the wolf, and you didn’t throw a pass at her? Gee, Dynamite, you’re losing your touch.”

“Oh, come on, you juvenile delinquent, cut it out.” He smirked, and poured a bowl of cereal as he listened to Slider continue with his own made up version of his date. He caught bits and pieces as he sat, and remembered some of the high moments of their date. It wasn’t spectacular, but he only dated a few times, and was out of practice. They had gone to a local eatery at the Inner Harbor, a simple place, nothing fancy, just a grill that served seafood in an open dining area. He was glad that she didn’t particularly care where they went, as he really wasn’t into the frills and large places that demanded a suit and tie. If that had been what she wanted, he would have accommodated her, it just wasn’t his style. Maybe he had finally come to a crossroads in his life, and was ready to move on. It had been seven long, painful years since Allison left him a week before their wedding. She had given him no reason as to why she changed her mind. That was the worst day of his life. Even after all this time, it was difficult to reflect on. Many times after, he had thought of what he could have done to prevent it, but he just stood by, watched her pack, and walk away from a life they had planned. Hiding the pain wasn’t something he did well. He spent well over three months working as many hours he could get. When that wasn’t enough, he buried himself working in the house he had built for them. He built it in the meadow above town and under their tree, the one where he had first kissed her. It would have been a surprise for her. They talked about it for as long as he could remember. It was small, but it would have been a happy home. He held onto it although he didn’t know why, and went there on occasion, but he couldn’t bring himself to stay in it. He kept it well maintained, but no one had ever set foot in it. It was still decorated as though he was bringing his bride home for the first time. He just couldn’t seem to put it on the market.

“Hey, Romeo, where are you?” Todd walked into the station, and Crash met him with a hearty bark of hello. Todd ruffled his ears, and Crash hopped like a puppy around his feet, wanting him to play. Nathan grinned as if he had been the cat that swallowed the canary.

“Oh, I see, mooning over the very beautiful Constance. Doesn’t take rocket science to figure out where your mind is, Dynamite.”

The entrance of his partner interrupted his memory, and was glad he had. Living in the past wasn’t something he wanted to do. Nathan offered a grin as Todd made his way to the coffee pot, poured himself a cup, and brought one to his friend. Sitting down, he handed the cup to Nathan, and he took it graciously as his friend sipped his own. A voice called from the bay where the main engine was housed between runs, calling Slider away. Bryson saluted the men, and answered the call.

“Okay, Dynamite, what’s eating at you? I’m a married man, and can spot trouble, now what is it? Fess up, man, new girl causing issues already?”

Nathan shook his head, took a sip of his coffee, and looked down into it. “No, just a ghost from my past that keeps coming back to haunt me.”

“Does this ghost know you’re still in love with her?”

“Who said anything about love?”

Todd looked at him, studying him. “Come on, Dynamite, I’m married, I have teenagers. I know every trick in the book when it comes to love sick teens. Don’t you think I can spot a lovesick hound? I’ve worked with you years, don’t you think I remember? I was there the day you graduated. Don’t you think I would have noticed the pretty little redhead who all but carried your sorry rear away that day? You love her. Why don’t you do something about it?”

Nathan shook his head. “How did you know that? She could have been anyone.”

Todd chuckled at him as he smacked the table lightly. “You aren’t the only one who’s been in love with a woman. I’ve been married to my wife for almost thirty years, but there was a woman before her who I thought I’d never get over. I love my wife, and she is who I was supposed to be with. If Constance is the woman you’re supposed to be with then so be it, but if it’s that pretty little redhead, do yourself and Constance a favor—don’t lead her on.”

Nathan swallowed, taking in what his friend has just said, gesturing with his hands, and then clamping them together. “My intention was never to lead her on. I need to move on. I’m not really looking for commitment. I just need someone in my life. I’ve waited for Allie to come back, and she hasn’t so much as called or written to me since she left. It’s been seven years, Todd.” Nathan started to open his mouth again, and then decided better of it.

“I’m not telling you not to mingle, Dynamite, just be aware of her feelings. I know you mean well, just guard yourself—and her. If you aren’t ready, and she is, it can get messy.”

It wasn’t a normal day, and dragged on. Most of the time they had multiple runs, some that were foolish, and certainly not an emergency. When he stepped out of the shower at the firehouse, he was ready for bed. Sitting his watch on the table next to his bunk, there she was, a picture of them in the past. Her smile haunted him as he thought about what Todd said to him earlier in the day. He was right, and he knew it. Allison was the first woman he ever loved. As many years as she had been gone, he still carried a picture of her in his wallet. He kept her hair ribbon in a drawer at the house he had built for them. And in their bedroom, he had placed a wedding gift for her. It remained wrapped in the top of the closet, waiting for her.

Her innocence had always fascinated him. In many ways, she surprised him. They discussed the intention of never being together intimately until they were married. It was important to her, and that made it important to him. She was untouched. He dated her seriously for a little more than a year, and they had come close to giving in to their feelings, but when they knew they were getting married, they decided a couple of months wasn’t going to be an issue.

By now, he was sure that was no longer true. It wasn’t that he felt she was an easy mark, but he wasn’t totally out of touch. It was different. He was sure she had married by now, and more than likely, hadn’t given him a second thought. In some respects, it angered him that she moved on and he was still sitting, waiting. For what? He wasn’t sure. If she moved on, there was no reason for him not to. Constance seemed to be compatible with him. She wanted the same things he did. He knew he had to make a choice and move on, or stay waiting for something that was never going to happen.

Lying in his bunk, the firehouse seemed eerily quiet. Placing his hands under his head, he thought of the time he spent wining Allison’s heart. It hadn’t been all that difficult, after all, they had known each other all their lives. Allison was easy to love. She was gentle and hard loving. When she cared about something, she cared to the very core of her. There was no hiding her feelings. She had never been able to hide from him. He knew her well, how she felt about him at the time, and about life in general. She had a hunger to please others. She was always doing something to help someone, even if it was something as simple as baking cookies for a shut in neighbor.

Then there was Constance. She was more than appealing. It was evident that she was interested in him. He didn’t want to lead her on, but then he had to take a chance to see where things went. Maybe everything would turn out well and he would give them both a chance at what they wanted out of life. He found himself only dating someone if he may, in time, be interested in marrying her someday. If he knew there was no chance, he didn’t make an attempt. He didn’t like dating, because most people presented a fake side of their real selves. No one is perfect. He knew he wasn’t.

Thinking of the night before, he remembered Constance looking dreamily across the table at him. He found it disturbing in some ways, in others it was refreshing. She was willing to take a chance. She enjoyed herself, or so he thought. He had taken her to the Hole in the Wall, and they sat on the patio, and looked out onto the bay watching the sailboats came closer to port. They had enjoyed a meal of seafood and wine, as they laughed together. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had actually laughed, really laughed. Constance was stable and safe. For at least the time being, he didn’t have to make any major changes in his life. All he needed to worry about was if he intended on asking her out again. Slowly, he drifted off thinking of an auburn haired beauty, and the woman he was currently seeing. Well, for lack of better words anyway, he was making a choice. If Allison intended to come back, she would have by now. The night sucked him in, and he finally found some peace.

The alarm cried out a harsh, shrill ring, as the lights powered on at the firehouse. Crash jumped from Nathans bunk, and barked as he ran ahead of Nathan, and then stopped and looked back at him, looking for his buddy.

“Come on, Becker, we have work to do,” Todd called back at him, as he shrugged on his coat.

“What’s the call?” Nathan shouted above the alarm.

“Shooting.”

Before he could get a breath, he was in the rescue truck with Crash and Todd, running full force with lights and sirens blazing through the dark.

“Rescue 2, be advised. Officers on scene. Area under surveillance, use caution. Two adults involved in a domestic shooting, children in the house. Two victims at this time. One adult still in the house armed.”

“Copy dispatch.”

Nathan huffed, and took in a couple of sharp breaths.

“You don’t know the kids are involved, Dynamite. Stay calm, they may be in another room perfectly safe.”

“I hope you're right. I hate to get calls on kids. They always end up getting into these screwed up incidents with parents who should know better.”

Todd pointed ahead of him. “There it is. Looks like he’s still in the house. I don’t see anyone moving. We better park behind the officer’s car.”

Adjusting his helmet strap, Nathan observed the area. “It looks secure. I don’t see anything moving though.”

“Yeah, well, be careful, Dynamite. This guy could be on a short fuse.”

“Shooting two people, and having two others inside kind of indicated that.” Stepping from the truck, he and Todd took their equipment, and made ready as they walked to the officers off to the side of the street. The area was blocked off to those who would be observers. All they needed was someone to wander onto the property and end up in this mess.

Todd set the equipment down in front of him as he addressed one of the officers. Crash barked up at Nathan and sat at his feet. “It’s okay, boy. Not now.”

Todd walked back toward them as Nathan set his equipment down. “Looks like we’re going to be here for a while. An armed man’s inside, and has two children, holding them hostage. The parents have been shot, and there’s no way of knowing how bad the situation is, because he isn’t saying. Turns out, the man’s the woman's ex-husband. She tried to take the kids from him, and leave with her new husband, when the man went ballistic. He shot both of them, and the kids witnessed it. The man won’t come out unless they agree to let him see his children. He doesn’t want them going into foster care. He wants a guarantee that they’ll stay with his parents. I think they’re working it out, but it could be awhile.”

The night seemed to drag on as they waited for the man inside to surrender, or until they could find a way to take him down safely. The children were in the house, and didn’t need to see their father die because of something that should have been handled differently. Nathan knew all too well the violence that could come from an angry father.

After hours of negotiations, the man walked from the house with his hands behind his head, as the dawn started to rise from behind the single-story house. All Nathan could think of was, at least it was relatively uneventful. They needed to get the all clear from the officers before they could enter, but Nathan knew in his heart it wasn’t going to be good. They had at least two bodies, and possibly there could be children among them.

Walking through the door, he found a male sitting in the chair, having died instantly, there was no doubt he’d died from a single shot to the head. Covering him with what drapes they had, he continued on to find the woman in their bedroom, where she had been shot several times. Clearly, she had been made to suffer. The gun lay beside her body, and the coroner who had accompanied them into the house quickly covered her.

The officer on duty stood at the foot of the bed, and Nathan asked about the children. There was no helping the couple, they had gone beyond help several hours earlier. “The children’s names are Zechariah, and Rayna. We’ve called out to them several times, but there hasn’t been an answer. The officers are still looking for them.”

Goosebumps ran down Nathan’s spine as he took it in. Oh no, the children could have also met the same demise as their mother and her unfortunate husband. Laying the medical equipment down, he took the flashlight from his belt and started looking for the two children. “How old are they?”

“The father told the officer outside five and seven. The boy’s autistic so it’s hard to tell where they are, and if they’ll answer you, or if they are both alive.”

The first place he decided to look was under the mother’s bed. It wasn’t likely, but if the children felt safe around the mother, alive or not, they could be that close to them.

Finding no sign of the kids in the mother’s room, he started to look in the other rooms of the house. It wasn’t until he found a walk-in closet at the far end of the house that he could sense the children were hiding there. He motioned to Todd, and he followed him as Nathan opened the door, but made no attempt to go in, worried it may frighten them further. He shined the light into the closet, and called their names.

“Zach, Rayna, I’m Nathan. I’m here to help you, can you come to me? I brought my friends with me, Crash, my dog, and my friend Todd. Can you follow the light out to me?” There was no reaction. Crash, stood by Nathan and barked, then a faint whine as he wagged his tail. Making his way around Nathan, he crawled through the dark, and back to the end of the closet. Following Crash with the light beam, Nathan could see the children huddled together in the corner, Crash in front of them. He nuzzled the kids as they sat there. The little girl finally reached out for him, and he licked her face. The boy sat next to his sister, rocking back and forth. “Rayna, it’s Nathan. I won’t hurt you, I promise. We want to get you out of here to some place safe. Why don’t you take your brother’s hand and grab onto Crash’s collar. He’ll help you out. Just follow him.”

Sitting at the entrance with Todd standing by, it wasn’t long before a little blonde-haired girl and boy, followed Crash from the darkness of the closet, both children holding tightly to his collar. They stood shocked before Nathan, until the little girl broke down in tears. He patted her gently, and picked her up along with her brother. They made short time in examining the children, finding them both virtually unscathed. There was no idea how much they had seen, as Rayna cried, and sucked in air with each crying jag. Zach, on the other hand, sat and stared, and rocked back and forth, not making a sound. He was protecting himself as he closed himself off into a world of his own.

Nathan never got used to seeing children affected. It was bad enough for an adult to go through a traumatic event, but it was another for a child to experience it. It never seemed to hang at the surface. It always ran deep into them, making it difficult for them to bounce back. They may appear to have forgotten, but it always seemed to come out in behavior, or nightmares, the ones that never seemed to stop.

He remembered from the times he had witnessed his father’s outburst after an alcoholic binge. Some of them worse than others. There were times he thought he would never make it out of his father’s house intact. His mind kept reeling it over and over. He always seemed to know when his father was going to go on one of his unending drinking sprees. Many times, as he headed to school, he would find him passed out in his room with the bottle remaining in his hand.

As they walked through the living room, he held Rayna’s face against his chest so she wouldn’t see the body of the man who had been part of their mother’s life. Zach had laid his head against Todd, and was sucking his thumb as he carried him out. The whole scene seemed to run in slow motion as they walked from the home. A soon as they cleared the threshold, gunfire rang out, and Nathan felt the wind of what he knew was bullet fly passed his ear. The children’s father had managed to wrestle his way loose from the officer and taken his firearm, which he fired directly at him and Rayna. “You can’t take my babies from me,” the man screamed as Nathan ducked his body, and covered the little girl as she whimpered in his arms. Before he could find cover, the man had been taken to the ground with an audible umph.

“We have him, put him in the car.” The officer in charge walked quickly toward Nathan and Todd, who now shielded the children with their own bodies. “It’s alright, fellows, he’s in custody.” The large officer stood firm as he looked back over his shoulder, watching as a couple of fellow officers pushed the prisoner into the vehicle and then took off. “You guys okay?”

Pushing his helmet back away from his face, Nathan stood with little Rayna in his arms. “Yeah, I think so. We’re going to make sure the kids are medically stable. Then we will be heading back to the firehouse.”

“Okay, thanks for the help.” As the officer started to walk away, Nathan got his attention by calling out to him.

“Officer, what about them?” He asked, looking down at the children once again.

“Someone will meet you at the hospital. There should be family to step in, if not, Social Services will contact Children’s Protective Services. Don’t worry, they’re going to be well taken care of.” He smiled, and walked off as Todd placed the boy inside the ambulance, and followed in behind him.

“Dynamite, you want me to take this ride? I don’t mind if you want to bring the truck”

“Sure, I think I’ll sit this one out.” Handing him Rayna, who went to Todd readily, he and Crash ran for the truck. The little girl waved shyly, and sat down on the cot beside Todd as he held on to the boy. Shutting the door to the ambulance gave him a cold and helpless feeling as he watched it drive away.

Constance came to mind as he fidgeted with his safety belt. Since their last night out, Nathan had slowly slid into a new life that he felt was foreign. He hadn’t made a commitment, not really. He was far from that. He and Constance had gone out several times over the last few weeks, and he had enjoyed her company. They were taking their time, getting to know each other. Constance was a bright young woman, and she was easy to get to know. Her life was simple. She spent her time working as a nurse at the local hospital, and on occasion had volunteered on the children’s ward when she could. She seemed content at whatever she did, and in her life. It had been a long time since Nathan had been content.

He had imagined, or tried to imagine, a life with someone other than Allison and it hadn’t been easy. After all this time, maybe he had found someone he could consider spending his life with. He hadn’t considered doing anything other than living his life alone. Well, with the exception of Crash. He had been there during some of the worst days he could imagine. In another life, he would have now been the husband of a beautiful, auburn haired woman, with at least one child if not two, living in the home he had spent months building, and would have been happy watching their children grow up.

It was time to move on and put the past where it belonged—in the past. Tonight was going to be a simple outing, and he had decided to take Constance out on the bay for a boat ride, and then a dinner on the boardwalk. After that, he would see how it went. Stuffing his white button down into his jeans, he readied himself to make an evening that he hoped would be memorable for them both. Running his hand through his damp, blond hair, he picked up his keys as Crash lay in front of the bedroom door, looking up at him and tipping his head to the side. He let out a small whimper as his tail thumped the floor.

“Not tonight, boy, maybe next time,” Nathan told him. Crash stood, walked off into the other room, and jumped up on the couch as if he were burying his face in it. “Come on, Crash, you’re still my best buddy. I’m sorry I haven’t been spending much time with you. I’ll make up for it. We’ll go to the park tomorrow, and you can run to your heart’s content.” Nathan stroked his coat, and Crash wagged his tail weakly. “I need to move on, Crash, it’s been a long time” Cupping Crash’s furry face, Nathan continued to tell him when he found the right one he would bring her home and he could meet her.” His best buddy seemed to understand every word, gave him a doggie kiss, and lay down contented. Nathan laughed at Crash’s response, as if he were giving his approval.

Walking through the Inner Harbor felt strange with Constance on his arm. He hadn’t been here with anyone other than Allison as far as a date had gone. He had decided he would take her on a short trip around the harbor, and then to a café that had outside dining, so they could admire the bay while they enjoyed the evening. The weather was good, and the heat wasn’t so intense that it was stifling. Constance held onto his arm as he escorted her through the Inner Harbor, watching in amazement.

“I hope you like the water. I thought we would take a boat ride.”

Nathan mentioned it to her, hoping for a good reaction. He enjoyed the water, and had sailed some himself, but he had in mind one of his friends taking over that duty. Tonight he wanted to center all of his time on Constance.

“Sure, I’d love to.” Although she said she would love to go, the reaction was less enthusiastic than he hoped for. It was if it was forced, or maybe she was just unsure. Boarding the boat, he helped her in. The small vessel was graceful as it glided across the harbor, and with his friend being the captain, it left him with time to look at Constance and study her. He was a good judge of character, and knew she was a good person. He just wasn’t sure what it was that seemed to be bothering her. Maybe she just didn’t like to sail, or maybe she didn’t like the water. It occurred to him that maybe she wasn’t very comfortable with him either. He wasn’t sure if he was the one most comfortable with their relationship, but he was making an effort. He sat down on one of the cushioned seats next to the railing, and took her hand, guiding her to sit beside him. He liked that she would sit close to him. Sometimes, she sat so close to him as if there was no separation at all between them. This was different. He sat with his arm over the railing and across her shoulder. As he looked at her face through his mirrored sunglasses it came to him, and he almost laughed when he realized the truth.

“Constance, don’t be offended when I ask you this, but, are afraid being out here? You seem so tense.”

She looked at him, seemingly embarrassed by his question, but he could tell by the look on her face that he was right in his assumption. She nodded in acknowledgement of the fact that she was indeed afraid of where she was. Curling his arm around her tighter, he pulled her into him, and kissed the top of her head in endearment. “You don’t have to be frightened. My buddy and I are both well-seasoned at sailing this vessel, and we are both excellent swimmers. Nothing is going to happen here, you’re safe. If it would make you feel better, I do have life jackets in the seats if you would prefer to wear one.”

“No, I’m fine, Nathan. I haven’t been on the water for many years. My family had a small boat when I was a child.” Hesitating for a moment, she looked up at Nathan, and he could tell there was more to it than just being afraid of the water. “When I was in grade school, my family would spend summers sailing, fishing, camping that sort of thing. They loved it, and we did it as a family. One summer we were out, and there was an accident. The boat was hit by another vessel, causing it to tip enough for my uncle and my brother to fall overboard. Neither of them survived. My uncle drowned, and my brother broke his neck when the other boat impacted ours. He was thrown overboard, and hit the side of the other boat before falling into the water. We never found my uncle, and they found my brother two days later. We never went sailing again after that summer.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I had no idea. We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to. We can just go to supper, and maybe to a movie if you’re uncomfortable.”

She snuggled in closer to Nathan, and he accommodated her. It felt good to be able to hold someone again. It had been at least a year since he had taken anyone out anywhere, other than Constance. He was starting to grow accustomed to having her near.

“No,” she whispered. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just keep me close to you. I think I would feel much better.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll have to worry. I have no intentions of letting go. Just sit here next to me, and I’ll hold you. I want you to relax. We’re safe. The harbor waterway is monitored, and there are specific rules to be followed. Our captain for the evening knows what to do. I just want you to take in the view and remember this evening.”

A breeze lifted off the water, and the gulls screeched overhead, and the longer they were out, the calmer she became. He could feel her body relax, and eventually she closed her eyes for a moment, and drew in a breath of fresh air. He gained pleasure from watching her. He knew she was starting to trust him, and that made him feel great. He was happy that she thought enough of him to trust him. “You doing okay?”

She sighed, and he kept her close and kissed the top of her head.

“Yes,” she breathed. “I haven’t felt this wonderful for a very long time.”

He could feel her smile, and she began to lace her fingers through his. Her small frame leaned against him, and he soaked it in. He had to allow himself to feel for once. It had been such a long time that he had forgotten what it felt like to be in a relationship with someone, yet it felt like the most natural thing in the world. This was going to turn out well, it was going to be a good night. Constance was happy, and so was he. They would spend some alone time together, then they would have dinner, and just let the night unfold. It was simple. There was one thing he didn’t get, why did he feel so guilty?

“Nathan?”

“Hmm.”

“Would you be offended if I told you what I thought?”

“No, of course not.”

“I’m not sure what to say, or how to say it.”

“I find the easiest way to say something is just to say it, no matter how it sounds. It’s easier to explain once the thought is out.”

She giggled nervously, and Nathan knew it was something that wasn’t easily said. All he could think of was, here it comes, I haven’t been with her hardly a month, and she is ready to dump me already. He felt her fingers trace his as she struggled, and then she said something that had totally knocked him off his feet. Her voice hushed as she spoke, and it sent chills down his back. “I hope I’m not jumping in too soon, but I want you to know that I’ve thought a great deal about us. Over the past month, I’ve loved every second I’ve spent with you. It’s been more than I could have imagined. A girl could fall in love with you quickly. I don’t want you to think I say this kind of thing to everyone, it’s the opposite really. If you knew my friends and family, they would tell you I’m not one to share my feelings with many people, and I certainly don’t want to scare you off.”

She fidgeted a while longer, and Nathan found himself dumbstruck. He hadn’t intended on this getting so deep so quickly. Todd was right, he should have listened to him. He wasn’t sure of this relationship. He didn’t want to be unkind, but it was too soon. He felt different feelings for her, and just wasn’t sure what they were. He had just made the decision to move on to another relationship, and this had thrown him. He hadn’t expected anything like this.

Nathan cleared his throat, and tried to be a gentleman. He had never been rude to a woman, or hurtful in his life. He knew it took a lot for her to say anything, and she had put herself out there.

Turning, Constance faced him and waited for his response, but he knew all too well his thoughts were written boldly across his face. He could tell by her pale expression that she had gotten the message. The mood had gone from cozy to awkward. Nathan knew he had to say something, and he tried to think of what was best. Under the circumstances, nothing was serious, and didn’t need to be yet. There wasn’t a need to rush into anything. Taking her by the shoulders, he looked into her eyes, and tried to be as honest as he could without hurting her feelings. “Constance, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I’m flattered. This relationship is just getting started, and I’m a little unsure of myself. I had a bad experience several years ago, and I’m just now recovering. It isn’t that I don’t think I’m capable of getting into a new relationship, I want to. I’m just looking to take it slow. I think we could make a good go of this. I want you to be happy. I certainly don’t intend to hurt you. When I date, I look for someone who could be a potential long-term commitment. If you weren’t, I would never have asked you out. I appreciate that you felt you could share your feelings with me, and I wish I could tell you now that I knew how this was going to work out, but I just can’t. It’s too early. I want us to get to know each other, and to spend time together. And if it develops into something more than a friendship, then that’s wonderful. I want that, I want someone to fall in love with. I want the home and family that everyone wants. I want someone I can grow old with and watch the grandkids play in the yard. I’m trying to be truthful here.” Pushing his hand though his hair, he looked into Constance’s worried face. “I care about you. I want us to give this our best shot. I do care. I care about you and your feelings. Just don’t jump in too fast.” He could tell that Constance was hurt. He still had feelings for Allison, and it wasn’t fair to her or him to jump into something that serious.

Constance never said a word. He could feel the pain bouncing off him, and he hated it. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her. He was telling her the truth. He wanted it to work. Seeing Constance this way hurt him as much as if someone had stabbed him. He hated to hurt anyone’s feelings, and this wasn’t intended at all.

As the night went on, they ended it with dinner on the boardwalk at a popular eatery. The night hadn’t been a total bust. The food was excellent at Rockets, and they had talked about a few odds and ends, whatever popped into their mind. It was a little odd he had to say. They spoke little about any one subject, and the conversation jumped from one topic to another, totally avoiding talk of any type of a relationship. Nathan wasn’t sure if Constance would agree to go out with him again after the discussion they had earlier that night, so he tried to keep it light and friendly. They joked and laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company. It wasn’t the same, he felt as though he was walking on eggshells. Taking her hand, he decided he would walk with her for a while, and then find their way back to the truck. He took her where they could talk, away from the city. He needed to take her somewhere to spend some time alone with her without any pressure. The most natural place he could think of was where he had built the house for Allison. That didn’t seem right, regardless of what he did, it was still Allison’s home. He would have to come up with something better than that.

Then he thought of something. It had been a few years, but he thought it looked like a good night so he took a chance on it. Starlight’s, a drive-in theater, was about a half hour away, they could see a movie, and have the quiet time they needed to talk and spend some time together. Nathan headed toward the theater, and Constance looked at him, not having a clue as to what he was doing or where they were going. He explained that he had something planned for them, and left it at that.

As the sky was painted purples and pinks of the incoming dusk, they pulled into the Starlight’s Drive-In. Nathan was sure he had made the right choice when she looked at him with a shy grin, and told him she had never been to a drive-in before. The road in the drive-in was gravel, and it crunched under the weight of the tires as they drove through the lot. Parking, he released his belt, leaned his arm over the steering wheel, and looked at her. She was a stunning woman. He would be a fool if he didn’t jump in with both feet.

Nathan cleared his throat, and smiled at the bemused Constance, who was still trying to figure him out. “I thought you might enjoy coming here. I can remember coming here during my senior year of high school. They used to have some of the best popcorn, would you like some?”

Constance looked at him blankly, still trying to decide if he had lost his mind. “Nathan, don’t think I don’t appreciate what you’re doing, but why are we here?”

“I told you, I thought you would enjoy this, besides, I wanted to be alone with you, and this was the best place I could think of that was neutral ground.”

Constance looked down at her clasped hands that now lay in her lap. “Okay,” she whispered.

“Now, would you like some popcorn? I think I’m going to get some, and maybe a Pepsi.” Never looking up at him, she nodded her head yes, and he departed to the concession. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea in the world, but he wanted to make it up to her some way. He was trying to make it work. Maybe he had lost his mind. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be with anyone, and just be alone. That was always a consideration.

When he got to the concession stand, he found they still had the popcorn that he loved. With the anxiety he felt, he decided maybe a Pepsi wasn’t the best choice for him. He opted for something a little stronger, and returned with the same for Constance. Funny, he hadn’t asked if she indulged. He hadn’t had a drink in years. He always felt like father, like son. He didn’t do well when he had alcohol in him, but it did seem to help him loosen up.

The night had its tense moments, and he knew he had to gain some ground if he was going to salvage the relationship. It left Constance vulnerable, and him anxious. He wasn’t going to let this happen to another relationship. Shifting in his seat, he handed Constance her drink, and sat the popcorn between them. By the time the credits and byline had run through, he was feeling better, and less anxious about the situation. Maybe it wasn’t the manliest thing to feel, but he wasn’t going to be telling anyone. She didn’t need to know, and neither did anyone else. Soon they had both forgotten the earlier incident that had nearly wrecked their evening. He started to feel the effects of the alcohol. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone that route, but Constance seemed to relax, and was happier with the situation. They spent time talking through the movie, and soon Nathan invited her to come closer to him. Sliding from the other side of the truck, Constance found a place where she was comfortable with his arm draped over shoulders. Nathan took a deep breath in, and inhaled her smell. The sweetness of her was hard to resist. Her hands were like silk laying against him. If only… No, he wasn’t going there. He closed his eyes, tried to erase Allison from his mind.

“Constance…”he whispered, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.

Chapter 5

Waking up hours after the movie was over, Constance was sleeping soundly on his bare chest. Shaking his head, Nathan tried to clear his mind as to what had happened. He didn’t remember much after he finished a couple of drinks, or had he just stopped counting. Trying to focus, he felt the effects of what the alcohol was doing, or had done. He was already feeling a hangover coming on.

Scanning the truck, he found a mound of six beer bottles on the floor. He could only remember drinking one. Where did they all come from? He’d never been that careless. Attempting to awaken Constance, he found her drowsy, and she immediately fell back to sleep. There were few cars in the lot, and the latest picture was playing some B movie he’d never heard of. “Constance, wake up.” She moaned sleepily, and barely moved from where she was. Looking at his watch, it was four am, thank goodness he didn’t have a shift to cover. If he had, he would have never made it. This was a first. He had never spent the better part of the night with a woman. He had no idea what happened. When he finally came to his senses, he surveyed the area and the situation once more.

When it dawned on him, it became increasingly difficult to take in. From the evidence he found, he was certain there was much more than talking going on, and it had gone beyond a make out session he couldn’t remember. It hadn’t been that he didn’t find her desirable, on the contrary, any man would have been envious of his position. It didn’t matter what others would have thought, he felt guilty, betrayal of the one woman he still loved. He hated himself for it. Constance was partially disrobed, so he managed to cover her the best he could without waking her, and started for home. All he could hope for was she would forgive him now the speech about taking their time was null and void. He tried once more to wake Constance, but it was of little use. He placed her so she would lean against the window, and looked down on her in shame. If what he thought happened, and he was sure it had, there was going to be a lot of fences to mend. Running his hands down his face, he straightened himself and drove her home.

Trying to pull himself together, he continued through the early morning hours to the brick apartment where Constance lived. The darkness hung on him like a shroud. His mind was so muddled that he couldn’t begin to put the pieces together. It was bad enough that the act of a physical relationship had more than likely happened between them, but what was worse, he didn’t remember any of it. It hadn’t crossed his mind to have that type of relationship with her, at least not yet. He wasn’t sure what kind of relationship he wanted. He was still hung up on Allison. After all the years they had been apart, he still thought of her as his, and now he had betrayed her.

As the dawn started to break through the dark sky, he saw Constance home. She still slept without budging or making a sound, other than a few satisfied noises. Taking the keys from her bag, he unlocked the door and returned to her. Opening the cab door, he picked her up as though she were a feather, and carried her into her home. Depositing her on her bed, he covered her and turned away. He had made a mess of things, and would have to apologize for his actions, it wouldn’t do much good now. Shutting the door and securing it behind him, he continued to his truck and returned home.

Walking through the door, he was met by Crash as he sat at his feet wagging his tail. It was strange how his dog knew there was something amiss. Stripping off his shirt as he walked through his living room, he made his way to the bedroom, and promptly lay down. The bed quickly swallowed him as he tried to determine what had actually happened, and put his thoughts into some kind of order, but there were few facts he could recall.

Crash jumped on the end of the bed, and curled up at his feet as if he were trying to console his friend. The evening had been long, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to put two thoughts together, let alone a whole evening of events. He could remember the discussion on the boat, and the supper at the restaurant The entire evening had been rocky. The last he remembered was going to the concession stand for a second time, about half way through the movie. He walked Constance over to the ladies room, and then continued on to the concession stand, where he bought a couple of sodas. They returned to the truck and he sat talking with her, but the conversation was fuzzy, and so was his head at the time.

The dawn was starting to give way to the early morning light, and he was more than awake. The day was going to be one filled with regret, and a determination to find out what had happened. The only thing he knew to do was to give Constance time to sleep, and then try to talk with her and see what she actually recounted of the evening. “Well, you’ve done it this time, you think you screwed up before, but this one has beaten them all.” There was no one he could talk to, apart from Todd, and that could lead to a lecture he wasn’t ready for.

Sitting on the side of the bed, he ran his hand down over his unshaven face, and sighed heavily. Changing into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, he decided to take Crash for a run in the park. Packing the things they would both need, he loaded Crash into the truck, and left for the park.

The beat of the music in the old truck attempted to quieten him, but it was of little comfort. When he parked outside Embassy Park, he surveyed his truck. On the floor were the remains of the six bottles of alcohol, two half-drunk sodas, a Popcorn tub that was empty, and a few wrappers he wasn’t sure what they had been. Picking them up, he threw them out of the truck in the nearby trash. The smell of the opened bottles sickened him. Crash jumped from the truck, circled him, and barked.

“Okay, boy, just not so loud, I have a headache, just go easy on me today, all right?”

Crash sat down on his haunches, and wagged his tail turning his head to the side as if he were attempting to hear him. Nathan couldn’t help but smile. His best friend was trying to lighten the situation the best way he knew how. He tightened the strings on his shoes, and began to run with Crash close behind him. He ran until he was exhausted, playing the night over and over in his mind. He never intended for any relationship he had to go that far, and still he couldn’t remember just how far it did go. It was going to be a long day full of questions, doubt, and self-loathing.

He had entertained the thought of an intimate relationship once, and only once. That was years ago. There were a couple of one-night stands, and he promised himself it would never happen again. He had no idea what might have happened if he’d allowed himself to continue. He may be a father more than once by now, because of his lack of preparedness. That was something that wasn’t far from his mind. What if what he suspected had happened? Constance could be pregnant, and it would be his fault. There wasn’t much he could do now, if it were so. It was done, there was no changing the fact.

He had to put the thoughts that haunted him behind him until he could see Constance. It was enough to know it was possible, without torturing himself. He needed to enjoy the time with Crash and relax. He would be going back to work soon and he’d better enjoy it while he could.

Taking a break, he leaned against one of the largest trees, and took in a breath. Looking at his watch, he could see it was almost noon. By this time, Constance would be up for the day. The thought crossed his mind that he should go see her instead of trying to phone her. Some things were better spoken about in person. Picking up his cell, he carefully dialed her number, and waited for her to answer. It rang once and rang again, the sound of the tone on the other end made his heart fall to his feet. He wasn’t going to get his answer today. After it rang for the fifth time, he was ready to hang up just before he heard her voice.

“Hello.” Her voice seemed weak and tired.

“Constance, its Nathan, you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine, a little headache, but I’m fine. Where are you?”

“I’m at the park.”

“What happened last night? I don’t remember a thing”

“That’s why I called. I was hoping you could tell me. Do you mind if I stop by for a little while? I really need to talk to you.”

Constance sighed, and sounded as if she was still trying to awaken. On the other hand, Nathan had slept little, and was sure he wasn’t going to be sleeping well anytime in the near future.

“Sure, give me about a half hour to straighten up some.”

“A half hour’s fine. It’ll give me time to take Crash home. I’ll be over soon, take your time.”

Nathan hung up and took Crash home as he had told Constance. Once he had taken care of his loyal friend, Crash having found his favorite spot on Nathan’s bed, Nathan made his departure to Constance’s apartment, hoping that between them they could put together the events of the night before. It wasn’t going to be good, he was sure. From what little he saw once he awoke, it hadn’t painted a good picture. Shaking his head, he tried to restore what he did remember, but his mind was still scrambled from the alcohol and lack of sleep.

It wasn’t long before he found himself on her doorstep. Constance opened the door with her hair neatly fixed, but was the only neatness to her appearance. She looked tired, with big dark circles under her eyes, and they appeared to be red and swollen. She stood at the door in a pair of sweats that lost her tiny body, and a sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder. She held her hand over her eyes as the door cracked a little more to allow him in.

“I’m sorry, Constance, did I wake you? I hope I gave you enough time to wake up after last night.”

She closed her eyes briefly, and shook her head. “No, it’s okay, I just have a headache that’s all. Come in.”

Her apartment was warm, comfortably furnished, and tastefully decorated in earth tones. Her bare feet rested on the floor as she sat down on the couch, and placed her head in her hands.

“Would you like some aspirin? I can get them for you if you tell me where to find them.”

“No, I’m fine. I’ve already been in the aspirin. There isn’t much I can do when I get a migraine, other than stay in the dark and keep quiet.”

“I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. I won’t stay long. I just needed some answers, and I was hoping you could help me. Last night is a blur. I remember some things, but others just don’t fit. I can remember going to the concession stand, and returning to the truck. Do you remember anything after we talked at all? I know we sat in the truck and talked earlier yesterday evening, but I remember little of it. I woke with you lying on my chest asleep after the movie had been off for some time. I brought you home around four in the morning. Is there anything you remember at all?”

“What has got you so tense? Does it matter what happened? So I went to sleep on your chest, so what? The last I knew it wasn’t a crime to make out on a date.”

So there it was, that’s what happened. Nathan took a deep breath, and tried to collect himself.

“Is that all that happened?” He was nervous and was sure she’d caught on.

“We made out, and if I remember well enough, you seemed to enjoy it.” Constance stopped for a moment, and gazed into his troubled face. “Would it have been so terrible if it had been more? I don’t understand you. You’re a grown man with needs and desires like anyone else. Is it me that repulses you, because if it is we can certainly fix that.”

He could tell she was angry now, which wasn’t what he’d intended. No matter how you looked at it, it spelled bad news. “I’m sorry, Constance, it isn’t what I meant. I just didn’t want to take advantage of you. From the empty bottles in the truck, I tried to put things together. I wasn’t sure where they’d came from, and how many of them I actually drank. You have no idea why I’m hung up on this, and I should have told you. My father is an alcoholic, and I vowed I would never become like him. He drank to the point he became violent. I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t…” He walked away from her, and remained turned from her sight with his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Hadn’t what, Nathan?”

“I wanted to make sure I hadn’t hurt you.”

“Did you think you raped me, or were you afraid that maybe we had a physical relationship that you didn’t want or expect?” She paused, and waited for his answer. “What makes you think you did anything?”

Nathan shuddered at the thought. “I just wanted to know. Does there have to be evidence suggesting that something happened?” Turning to her, he could see her mood wasn’t lifting. Her face was twisted with pain from the migraine, and now the emotional pain he knew he had inflicted. “I happen to think you’re better than a one night stand. I’m sorry if it offends you. If I did something, I’d like to know. If you’d rather not discuss it, I can understand that after the speech I made.”

He looked down at the floor as he returned to the seat by her. “I’m trying to take responsibility here. I think I should, I put us in that situation.”

“Nathan, I’m no saint in this. I want something to happen. God knows I’ve pushed every button I could think of. I’m a good person, I don’t normally go after any man. I can see me with you. When you turned away from how I felt it hurt. Once you had one drink in you, you, well, you loosened up and talked to me. If there were more than two drinks in the truck other than sodas then I don’t know how they got there. I don’t drink, but I had one with you to make you happy. You handed it to me once you were half way through the first. Believe me, you were lucid. You told me things I didn’t want to hear, so I’m sure you were very much in control of your faculties.”

“Constance,’ He took a moment, and tried to put each word in perspective. “I have issues, a lot of them. Making a commitment to you, or anyone, is something that’s going to take time. It’s not something I take lightly. I lived through my parents' separation, which turned my father’s world upside down. He turned to alcohol, and drank himself nearly to death. He would come in drunk, and be angry enough to where he would take out his aggressions and frustrations on me. It isn’t as simple as you seem to think.” Turning, and sitting down with his leg bent under him, he took her hand. “I guess I should have told you, since you were feeling things differently and faster than me, the truth behind my non-commitment. My parents are only partly to blame.”

Constance sat in expectation of what he was about to say. He could see her hard exterior from what he revealed was starting to fade. “Several years ago, I made a commitment to a young woman, and without going into major detail, I asked her to marry me. I knew her all my life. We grew up as children together, and throughout that time, we had an emotional attachment to each other. A week before our wedding, she called it off, no explanation as to why, or if I had done something. There was nothing, nothing for me. She didn’t give me a chance. It haunted me for years. I haven’t dated more than a handful of women since then. I’m trying, I really am. I just don’t want you to get hurt in the process. If you want to walk away, I wouldn’t blame you.”

There wasn’t another word said, and Nathan hadn’t as much as moved. Constance slid from her position on the couch, and was soon on her knees in front of him. He sat shocked as he looked down into her lovely face. She never said a word, just looked into his eyes, which he felt at the time must have been cold and uninviting. Cupping his face, she kissed him with more passion than he had experienced for a very long time. When they both came up for air, he continued to look down at her, amazed at her reaction. When he didn’t respond, she did it again, and Nathan couldn’t help but put his arms around her and return her fiery kisses. She was a small package, but she packed a punch when it came to emotion. He felt her passion burning in his chest. He was hoping what was happening wasn’t going to put the final nail in his coffin. She was reeling him in, and he wasn’t sure he had the power to stop her. For him to drop his defences was rare. He seldom let anyone close enough to see him, to see who he was, and how damaged he had become.

“Don’t turn away from me. I want to be the one who brings you back to life. I’m here for you, if you let me. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, as long as you say you’ll try.”

Pressing his lips together, he knew he was wading in over his head, but he couldn’t help himself. It had been a long time since he had been touched by a woman, and to know that she cared meant everything to him. Leaning in, he kissed her cheek, picked her up from the floor, and deposited her in his lap. She wasn’t the perfect fit for him, but maybe this was the path he was to take. She was a lovely young woman with a big heart. She was offering everything she was to him, if he would just accept her.

It was early in their relationship, but all rational thinking was going out the window. He had feelings for her, why couldn’t he accept it and go on? Any other man would have acted without thought or feelings.

“I want this to be right, I want this to happen only if we both know what we’re getting into.” He breathed heavily after the kisses they had showered on each other. “I want you to know I take that type of relationship seriously.” Before he could say something else, she kissed him again.

“I want this Nathan, I want you. Don’t make me wait any longer.”

“Constance,” he managed to take a breath and speak her name. Taking her by the wrist, he pushed her back, and looked at her. “This is important, take a moment, and think. If I do this If we do this, it isn’t something that can be undone. If something happens and we can’t make this relationship work, it could be devastating.”

“I’m prepared to take that chance, are you?”

She looked at him intentions clear. He knew what she wanted, it was evident. Picking her up, he never said a word, and carried her to her bedroom. The blackout curtains were drawn, making it seem like night. The room was quiet, and spoke to him in a roar of silence. Was he doing the right thing? Somehow he felt he was. He was leaving his old life behind, and intended to start it anew. Her nose was buried against his neck. Her short breaths hitting his exposed skin, making it difficult for him to concentrate on anything but taking her in his arms and loving her.

He soon lay her down, his body following hers as he cupped her head, and ran his finger along her cheek. There was no way he was going to be able to walk away, and he knew it. He wasn’t sure of himself, and he continually pushed it to the back of his mind. There was no room in the forefront. All he wanted to do was let her take away the memory. He knew it was selfish, but for him to forget Allison he needed someone to chase her away.

Later that evening, Nathan found Constance with her head against his chest in a peaceful slumber, her body wrapped delicately in the sheet, with her arm over him, making sure she had full contact with him. He ran his fingers through her hair, hoping he hadn’t made the biggest mistake of his life. Decisions of this magnitude made on a whim, always seemed to come back and bite him. His whole idea was to fall in love and to know he was in love with a woman before he found her in his bed, or in this case hers. He already felt the guilt and remorse. He gently moved so not to wake her, and placed her arm down on the bed. She sighed as he removed his weight from the bed, but remained asleep. He dressed, and as he looked down at her he wished he had the feelings for her that she most assuredly had for him. He could feel it in her delicate touch, the way her fingers traced his face and chest as she lay next to him. There wasn’t anything worse than being caught up in something you later regretted. This time he had to work things out on his own, he couldn’t depend on someone to help him out.

Bending down, he kissed her cheek, and headed to the bathroom. His bare feet padded across the tile of the bathroom floor. The coolness of the large tiles felt especially good on the warm, sticky day they were having. It hadn’t matched the chill of the streak that ran the length of his spine when he looked in the mirror. His hair was askew, and his face was rough, in need of a shave. The stubble had gone long past needing to be removed. Turning on the water, he splashed his face, trying his best to recover, and act as if this actually meant more to him than it had. He wasn’t sure why he let the situation get out of hand. The very thing he feared had happened earlier, now had. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to make himself a little more presentable.

The memory of years ago flooded back as he stood there. The woman he fell in love with back then, had walked through his mind so often that she had left a permanent groove that continually played. The petite frame of Allison stood before him. He played out that night in his head as it rolled over in his mind, trying to make sense of it. Standing on the steps of the church where they were going to be married, they had spoken for the last time. Her auburn hair blew away from her face in a gentleness that kissed her cheeks. Her hands trembled as she stood with her arms crossed over her chest. “Why can’t you marry me, where has this come from? You never had a problem with getting married before? What have I done?”

Her voice shook as she spoke. “I’m sorry Nathan, I can’t. It’s not something I can explain, other than I just can’t get married.” She took the ring from her finger as he stood there trying to make sense out what was happening. She held out her hand with her other crossed over her chest, as if she was trying to protect her heart. Her eyes were red, and a lone tear slipped down her cheek.

“Allie, please don’t do this. You don’t want this and you know it.” His voice cracked as he pleaded with her. After all the years of loving her, she was willing to walk away with no explanation. “Don’t just walk away from me. At least tell me what changed your mind. Let me try to fix what happened if I can.”

“You don’t understand,” she told him, “It’s me. I have to go, please take your ring.” She remained holding it out to him, and he was reluctant to take it.

“Keep it, Allie,” he whispered, “It wouldn’t fit anyone else, it was bought with you in mind.” Stepping toward her, she backed away. “Please, Nathan, please take it,” she pleaded.

He wouldn’t take it from her so she sat it on the concrete wall next to them, wiped the tear from her face, and walked away. Turning, he followed her movement, and yelled out her name as she left. He dropped to his knees, and tried to figure out what had happened. There was no warning. The night before had been blissful. They had talked about what they were going to do once they were married, where they would live, how many children they wanted. She had been so happy. What happened? The pain in her face was imprinted on his brain, and he could never erase it.

From behind him, he felt the arms of the woman he had just left, wrap around his waist. Her head lay against his back as she hugged him to her. Nathan stood there with his hands supporting him on the bathroom sink, wondering what was wrong with him. He had a beautiful woman, and was standing there thinking of a woman he could never have. Straightening, he pulled her around to face him. Her arms remained wrapped around his waist as he casually draped his around her neck. All he could think of was, “what have I done to her?”

“I knew you would let go eventually. You deserve to be happy,” she coaxed him. “You have no idea of how good it can be for us. I’m not like her, I won’t walk away, I promise you that.” He hadn’t said a word as he pulled her into him and kissed the top of her head. Her sheet-wrapped body was warm against him, and he closed his eyes as he realized what they had done. He was going to have to live with it. He tried to protect her from him, and if something happened, it was now his fault and he knew it. His relationships weren’t the best, and his track record with women was two months at best. It was getting close to the beginning of the second month, and he had overstepped his bounds. Pushing it behind him, he had to make the best of it. Allison was never coming back, and Constance was willing to take a chance on him. This was a shot for him to grab some happiness that was long overdue in his life. It might as well be with Constance as anyone. She was beautiful, intelligent and had feelings. She was a wonderful person, and he wasn’t about to destroy what he did have for the sake of something that would never be. It was time. It was time for him to take a step forward, and he was going to take a chance with her. He held her, and looked down into her angelic face. This was going to be difficult for him, and he knew it. He knew from the first time he had taken her out. He was more into the casual date, nothing more. This wouldn’t happen again. He would show her affection, but that was it.

Being raised in the church by his grandmother, he knew better. It was serious stuff, and she wasn’t meant to be used and tossed aside. He respected women, all of them. His grandfather had made sure he knew how to treat women. He often watched how he treated his wife, and it was easy to see she adored him.“You always treat women well, Nate. They’re a treasure in themselves. Love them with everything in you. She’s part of you, and you wouldn’t treat yourself badly. Don’t just tell a woman you love her, show her. Live your life as if she’s the very air you breathe. Hold her when she needs it. Let her know you care. If you do those things, she will always come back. There’s nothing like being appreciated and respected.”

It was too bad his grandfather wasn’t around any longer to give him the advice he desperately needed. He taught him so many things, but there were times he would give anything to be able to sit down with him to talk about life, about his life, women, and love. He was rich in information. The man was smart in most things of life, even though he never finished school past the eighth grade. What would he think of him now? He knew right from wrong, and yet he let his mind and body rule him.

He said little to her as she looked up at him. He could see the emotion of a woman who was determined to have him as her own. He was flattered, but it was all too fast for him, making him feel smothered.

Kissing her on the cheek, he unwrapped himself from her embrace, and slipped his T-shirt over his head. Sitting down on the couch in her living room, he laced his shoes on his feet as she walked into the room, pulling on a robe and cinching it around her waist. With his head bowed as he tied his well-worn tennis shoes, he could feel her eyes on him. They were piercing a hole through him to the point that it burned.

“That’s it,” she asked, in a voice that didn’t sound like her own. It was already happening. She had a hold on him because of his actions. His head was spinning, and he needed to get some air if nothing else. “You’re done with me? I would have thought you would at least wait a week or two before you left.”

Nathan tried to keep what control he had left, and it wasn’t much. Standing up, he picked his keys up from the couch where they’d fallen out. “I’m not leaving, Constance, I just need some air. This wasn’t something I intended to do.” He could see the anger rise in her, and he knew it was time to get outside.

“You used me?”

“No, Constance, I didn’t mean it like that. I just need to go outside for a moment, and I’ll be back. Just give me a few minutes.” He walked toward her, placing his hands on her shoulders, looking her straight in the eye. “I’ll be back. I told you about my track record with relationships. Give me a chance to put myself together.”

He never smiled, or showed emotion. He felt totally blank, an empty vessel, and he wasn’t sure he liked the feeling. Releasing her, he opened the door, and met the heat of the summer barreling down on him. It seemed more of a relief than the heat he was feeling coming from her.

He sat down on the concrete steps in front of her home, clasping his hands together on his bent knees. This was going to be a long, bumpy ride. It didn’t have to be, he was making things harder than they had to be. It was difficult enough to meet someone and develop a relationship with them. He liked Constance, or he would have never asked her out. She held qualities he looked for in a soul mate, he just needed to give her a chance. He was standing in his own way, and needed to step aside. He bent his head and looked to the sky. “I know I haven’t prayed for a very long time, but what do I do? I put myself here, what do I do next? Is this what you want for me, or have I made a huge mistake?”

It was a little late to be asking. He needed guidance, and it was the only way he knew to get it. Time to grow up, Nathan, you’ve waited for a woman you can’t have long enough. Get a grip. After some time, he walked back in to find Constance standing behind the island in her kitchen, with a cup of coffee sitting in front of her. Her blonde hair smoothed in place, she peered over the coffee cup as Nathan sat down across from her.

“I’m sorry. I know you expected a different reaction from me. I’m willing to try to make this work. Give me a chance to show you.”

Setting her cup down, she studied him, trying to decide if she believed what he was saying. She was no fool. She wanted Nathan as her own, and loved the thought of him being exclusive to her. She took a few steps, and was soon standing in front of him, but made no attempt at reaching for him. She stood and waited for his advance, not sure what to make of him after he walked out on what she felt was a new beginning for him.

When he saw she was making no further movement toward him, he pulled her to him hungrily, and kissed her as if every breath he took depended on her being there. He wanted no doubt left in her mind his intent was to stay right where he was. His heart started to beat hard, and his breaths shortened as he held to her. She held on to him as if she were drowning, and he loved the feeling. “Don’t let go,” he whispered next to her ear. “Don’t let go of me. Give me a chance.” Constance held to him tighter, never making a sound as she ran her long, slender fingers through his hair. She tugged it gently, and he thought he was going to fall to his knees, knowing she now owned him. He belonged to her, and she was going to see to it that he knew it.

He had always been in control of everything in his life. It was strange to be on the outside looking in. His body shook, and he hoped she hadn’t noticed as she gripped his shoulders. Her small frame was powerful as she traced his back and down his arms. Breaking their embrace, she looked up at him as if she had just claimed him.

He wouldn’t be walking away this time. This time he was caught, there was a net to catch him. She would be there; there was no doubt in his mind that she was playing for keeps. His days of being single were going to come to an end quickly.

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Teresa L. Arrowood

I am being generous, The First Five Chapters of Fire CHaser

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter 5

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