Revisited......

     I know that there is controversy of being visited by those that have passed on. Those that are in church and understand part of what God has in mind for us once we leave our earthly bodies say there are no reasons for those that have gone on would want to return. There are those that believe that there is no such thing as life after death and therefore once you have departed this life there is nothing. I myself choose to believe there is a realm that we have never seen with the human eye. It gives me great comfort.

 

     There are also those who do not believe in spirits, other than those who drink them, ghosts, hauntings and the like. I may have never believed that either until I started in nursing over thirty years  ago. There are things that are seen and heard that there is no explanation for. Boundaries are limited and the veil is thin. The first thing I remember was that of a nurse that worked with me on night shift years ago. She was a well seasoned lady and a devout Christian. She was a believer of the Lord God and walked and talked what she preached daily. She and her sister mentored me for more than two years on nights and followed me for several years. She was the first to tell me of an apparition if you will at the facility in which we worked. I never doubted that she saw and heard things upon an impending death of a patient. The fact was that I never experienced it. It wasn't until one evening when an elderly lady had laid on her death bed that I experienced something so unexplainable that I could see what she was talking about. The lady's husband had stayed with her all evening and had left late that night thinking that she would be there the next day, she didn't survive an hour after he left.  The facility at that time, (now doesn't exist) had wall heaters that had to be plugged in. There was a morgue, but it was seldom used. The rooms, especially in the winter would cool quickly. We pulled the door to the room until we could tend to her, as then we did a postmortem bath and made sure the linens were changed in case the family wanted to see them. When we returned to the room, the door handle was more than warm. It was hot. The unsettling feeling that came from that room when the door was opened was enough for me to close it again. I and the team did not return to the room until a half hour later. The room then cool and calm and the unsettled spirit gone.

 

     Over the years I have grown to appreciate the many visits of those that have gone on except those that I know did not make it to their destination. There is a feeling that you don't forget. I have seen a veiled nurse in the hall going to ease the pain of a patient that is ready for their last hours on earth. The nurse was not flesh and blood. I have heard what my mentor called death bells on an impending demise. I have been told of seeing angelic beings and I have been asked to pull them from the fire. There have been sweet reunions of wives and husbands who have been separated for years by the departure of one or the other.

 

       Getting to the meaning of this little story I know there will be skeptics. Days or weeks after the death of my grandmother I found myself coming home from working 12 hours at the hospital. I came home to an empty house as my husband and son were out to see The Lord of the Rings that night. I had assured my husband that I would be fine, that I would eat, shower and practice the piano at that time and he would soon be home. I had just started taking lessons and was making progress. My teacher had asked that I practice a half hour each day between lessons. That night I had started to practice and had caught a glimpse of something from the corner of my eye. The feeling of someone standing behind you is eerie, but you know when it happens. I could see the woman that was the grandmother from my childhood. Her dark hair perfectly fixed, standing dressed in a prettiest sky-blue dress I think I have ever seen. On her ears, she wore her pearl clip earrings that I was so familiar. I  had told my mother about it and she thought I had gone to sleep and dreamed this. I was defiantly awake, there was doubt in my mind.

 

     Two months later in a hospital bed waiting to have a laparoscopy I witnessed her again and with her she brought what have been my two year child. I had miscarried at 6 weeks and had no idea of the gender and the loss had killed me. She stood smiling with him as he danced around my bed. Smiling was out of character for my grandmother. She loved her children and her grandchildren but she had shown little emotion when I was growing up. She wasn't the warm an fuzzy grandparent, you read about. It wasn't until she had passed that I found out how much she loved me and how proud she was of me.

 

     Recently I was revisited by her. This time it was a dream and it was funny, but it was her. She stood before me all dolled up. It reminded me of a Paris photo-shoot of a rich and powerful woman. She was dressed in a black skirt, red and black appliqued jacket and heels with her signature earrings. When I asked her where she had been she simply stated, "I went shopping darling, aren't they fabulous?"   I laughed when she said that, that wasn't her. I took her hand and we walked through the exhibits and looked at paintings and went down a giant slide and made snow angels without snow. When she asked me what we were doing I told her we were making snow angels. I laughed and told her there was only one thing wrong with it, there was no snow.

 

    My revisits with a grandmother that was so private is now priceless to me. I woke laughing. Love crosses so many boundaries ,Love you Grandma. Thanks for the visit.